Friday, January 1, 2010

2010... New or Used?

Today begins a New year. 2010 arrived very much in the same way that 2009 had arrived one year ago. As I look back on the past year and reflect on where I have been and where I wanted to go, I find many places, goals, if you will, that I did not make reality. Goals that weren't missed because they were unattainable. Every single one of them was with in my reach if I had pushed a little harder... reached out further and applied myself more aggressively. Some of them were so close I could feel them being finished. Others I let sit, knowing that with a little effort, I would have made them reality. Unfinished, unrealized because of that part of me that says "what if I fail?"
I heard the statement today :Same crap, different year" and it really hit me hard. I realized that the goals I have set for myself are not "failure" goals. They are not pre-destined to collapse some-where just short of the finish line. All of the elements for success are already in place. Certainly they will not happen on their own. They will need a little help on my part and perhaps, yes, a break or two. The right eyes to see what I have created. The avenues opened up so that I can get my works through to the person that needs to see them. But each and everyone of them have all the potential to be a success. It Doesn't Have to be the "same crap." It only has to be a New Year, a different Year. That is the only thing that I have no control over.
Novels waiting to be published and free-lancing that just needs a push out the door. people and places that are there, like fruit in a tree that is ripe and needs only to be harvested. People that are dear to my soul that can help me simply by their encouraging words are still in my life. They are still as near as a screen. No miles in between, no distance running to catch them. Just a simple, caring hand reached out to say "I am Still here. I have not left. I am going No-where except forward and I would love for you to come along."
Discipline... Causing myself, Making Myself set boundaries for where I spend my time and how wisely I make use of it. Knowing that it can only get away from me If I allow it too. Again, Knowing there are always variables to everything in life but understanding that fact and having alternatives ways of still accomplishing my goals. Easily done? No, not always for me. My mind simply doesn't always work on that even of a keel. Sometimes, life takes me away for a time and I need to readjust my mind set. But that doesn't mean that I can not still do what I have set out to do. Does it? Can I truly do what I believe today, this first day of a New Year, I can accomplish? Will life and things that have plagued me for more years than I care to count slip in unseen and take away the desire and the belief I have today in myself? Will it be another "bipolar" year for me? Does it have to be? Really????
{Sighs...} I guess it all depends on myself and those that I surround myself with. On the encouragement of those that matter to me. I think that without that very important element, it could be the "same crap with just a different Year's Date."

8 comments:

tashabud said...

I can truly relate to everything you're saying here. I too have the capability if only I push myself harder and be more disciplined. I get easily distracted by stuff in life that by the time I think I'm ready to write my novel, it's time to go to sleep or time to go to work. (Big sigh)

I wish you all the best. And I hope the same for myself.

Tasha

Tasha

Anonymous said...

Darrel,
I do understand all you're saying here. I know you can do anything you want to and yes you do have to push to achieve the goals you want in life. You're so very talented and I have faith in you so go for it. Get your book published, write a book of short stories that we have loved to read. It's now 2010 and we can't dwell on what should have been done last year. This is a new start. Go for it.

Linda H

KB said...

LIfe is a work in progress my friend. Take one brush stroke at a time and enjoy the process, it's not all about the finished product.

KB said...

P.S. Happy New Year sweet D x

Darrel said...

Tasha, thankm you for reading this and for your kind comment. Sometimes it really does take a lot to make that move. I wish ONLY the very best in life for you and hope to see you again. Always, Darrel

Darrel said...

Linda, your words are Always an encouragemnet and I am thankful that you are dear to me. You help keep me grounded and that means the world to me. Thank you for always being JASA for me.

Darrel said...

How beautiful to see you here Karen. I miss hearing from you and hope that we will talk more often in the new year. You are always on my thoughts and I wish you the best that life has to give to you. Thank you for being exactly who you are. My vitamin K... Always, Darrel

Darrel said...

And Tasha... I went to your site and love it. We are not so much unalike... Thank you.. Darrel

MySavings Media

Dollar General - Savings Zone Gevalia