Saturday, May 1, 2010

Stress and writing... a great release.

Funny how when ever I have deep thoughts, this is where I come to. It is the writing that releases the inner soul and allow me to drift away from life around me now and then.I find myself almost in that "looking down at yourself" sort of feeling when I write. I am sometimes amazed as I watch the words appear on the screen as if they were there and simply needed to be activated somehow. My thoughts become a bit abstract and I move from place to place and try to remember where I have been since the last time I came here. Perhaps... I should come here more often.
I saw my therapist yesterday. There was a time that a statement like that would not have been made public. It was almost embarrassing to have anyone know you were seeing a "Shrink." Today, I think it is almost a status thing. If you live and breathe the air, you see a Phsychiatrist. There is no shame in it. People see therapis for many different reasons today. We live in a very fast pace, stressed world today. Life is non stop and the entire world seems to be shortening the time that was used for "getting a good nights rest." The sleep we used to almost covet we now have replaced with the World Wide Web, better known to most as the internet.
At night, when the world used to sleep, I am sitting up, staring at a screen, sometimes typing to a friend, other times doing work that brings me in a nice supplemental income. Whatever my reason for being here, I Am here until the very wee hours of the morning while my family sleeps, not 25 feet away from where I sit. It relaxes me to be here and gives me a place to lose the days events or to write them down so that I never forget them. It doesn't steal away hours of family time as the family sleeps as they should. But for me, and I think Millions of others around the world, sleep is a needed evil that only happens because my body insists.
As I was saying aout "abstract"... I went off the beaten path for a moment. Or did I??? Stress can take from you the very essence of what sleep is intended to do. It robs you of the sleep that yourbody needs, wether You believe that to be so or not. Even when you do succumb to your bodies desire, hmmm... more insistance that you lay dow to sleep, your mind is never ceasing to keep thoughts and images and fears and needs from invading your precious sleep time. Andddddddddddddd, back to my "Shrink" visit. When I feel the stress of the world around me, I want to run somewhere and hide. I want to find a place where no one knows me and just be one of many that owes no one an apoligy or takes on the pains or burdens of someone we love.
It is no secret to most of my readers that I am Bipolar. I suffer daily from a disorder that leaves me spinning at times. It causes my mind to go places that most would not go and those that dare to would run screaming away as fast as they can. For me, it is simply my world. Stress is a daily part of my life, as it is with half the world, I am sure but for me, it is just a little more... did I say "little?" It is a lot more ummmm, mixed up. Stress brings to my world fear and nervousness. I find ways to deal with it and try to go on with my day as best I can. Some days, the "other team" wins.
Sooooooooooo... She says, {my Shrink} that it is good to think and try to find alternate ways to deal with the stress in my life. Funnel it towards something positive like my novels or writng or singing. Something that will take the many abstract thoughts and channel them into something good. So far, again, the other team is scoring and looking towards that Victory Bell to ring. She says that in facing the issues that keep my sleep away, it may help to make them not so prominent in my mind. We shall see. ;) My real point here is to say that writing is a healthy alternative to an unhealthy thought mechanism. It gives me a place to be and a world where no one judges me nor looks at me differently. Because truly, I am not so different from you or you or you. I simply see things diffently than others might. Not always in a bad way. I wonder in my mind how others deal with their daily stress and if Others feel the need to get away from their daily stress, just for a little while, to try and grab a thought here and there and find some peace that will allow the to sleep One night, without interruption. Does that exist in the world I live in????

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