Friday, January 18, 2008

More on care-giving..

I continue my thoughts on care-giving now. Sheila and Dan really opened up a whole new world to me. My other blogs tell of the why I felt so right to be a care-giver. I think that if you are chosen to be a care-giver, you have been blessed more than you may ever realize. To know that God entrusted one of his children to you is an awesome feeling inside. A feeling of trust and faith that allows one to believe in their ownself.
Our afternoon and evenings were much like morning except that we never stopped running. We would go to the store or go see my parents. We would go fishing and Sheila had her own spot that I would park the wheelchair. She would prop her leg on HER rock and away she would go. She often out-fished me but we never let her illness slow us down. A part of being a care-giver is making sure they feel as able-bodied as they can. You can do that by taking them places they would go if they had no disabilities. Letting them feel as if it is only an "inconvience, not something that will take away their life.Show them that there IS life after being crippled.
Our night life was sometimes long and without a lot of sleep. because of her pain, she sometimes had a lot of trouble finding a way to hurt less and sleep. I would often be up every half hour readjusting her and talking with her so that she felt better inside and out. It was so important not to cause her to feel she was depriving you of sleep. The body is an amazing creation. It can and will adjust to any situation if your heart is right. Of course it was so easy because I loved her so terribly much. This is not always something that comes easy for everyone. That does not make you a bad person or less of a friend or love. It takes a special heart and mind to simply do what needs to be done to help them feel comfortable.
Talking to them, communication has to be the #1 on the list. If you can try and be them for a moment, see the world they live in, then you can perhaps understand how they feel inside at times. Sheila knew in her heart of hearts that I would lift her 10,000 more times if that was what life had in store for us. We would talk about how she felt and I would listen to her for as long as she needed to talk. I would cry with her and smile with her. You have the ability to give to the one care for a gift each day. The gift of peace to give to them. The feeling of trust and being in safe hands. The wonderful feeling of them knowing that whatever they call for, whatever they need to feel as if they are exactly like everyone else... you are there to give to them. Show the one you are caring for that they can close their eyes and sleep and that when they awake, you Will be there for them. Oh what a blessing that is to give to someone.

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