Sunday, April 19, 2009

Bipolar and Happiness... can you have both?

An interesting thought was brought up last night while I was twittering away. We were discussing different issues associated with being Bipolar. The subject of happiness and being Bipolar came up. Most of what people here about being bipolar is negative. I will never deny that there are a huge number of issues that come with being Bipolar. Top it off with carrying Tourettes around with you and well... You do the math.
But, are there positives to being bipolar? Can you be happy and lead a somewhat "normal" life? A darling lady once said to me, "So you aren't normal, So what! Normal is just average and you sweet man are far from average!" So let's talk about the pluses to being bipolar. It does seem to increase or perhaps open the imagination world to us. We see the world in a different light than most people. We see harmony and giving as a better way of life. We see love and even love-making with a totally different idea. Happiness?
2. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.
3. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a happy turn of phrase.
4. Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
Looking at the definition, I am going to say yes! Though my life may in fact have moments or days of being "Bipolar", I do enjoy life. I live a good life and I may even have a few things over the common person. When I feel the happiness inside of me, I act on it. I use those feelings to reach out to others and to bless their lives anywhere I can. My times of pure Euphoric feelings are not always a bad thing. They give to me the feeling that I can save the world. Whether I truly can or not isn't relevant to this write. It is the fact that most people go through life in a somewhat set or routine mode of living. They work, they play, they go to bed and they start over again. Sure there is happiness for them but it never reaches the peaks that it does with someone that is bipolar. I see the world as friends and reach out to those in need, sometimes a bit recklessly but I still REACH OUT. I am filled with happiness and contentment when I know that I have made someone smile or feel good about themselves.
Joy, happiness and loving are feelings that mean so much to me because I know that they can be stolen from me in a blink of an eye. I cherish them and nurture them as much as I can while they last for me. I live my life in a world that takes in the most precious gift of smiles and love and breathe it in like the fresh smell of a chimney, puffing out it's pine smell or the smell of leaves burning in a yard in the Fall. I relate my joys to songs and memories and do my best to hold them as long as my mind will allow.
My children understand and they know without question that they are so very loved. I accentuate the love I feel for them so that they always know that no matter where this disorder takes me, they are loved. My family, those that choose to try and understand, know how much i love them. And the woman I am with when making love? She too knows that my mind can do no less than give 1000% because that is how it works inside my head. The fears of failure don't allow me to do anything less than the best. Why? Because my disorder fears rejection horribly and my mind is scared beyond words that I won't make someone smile, no matter what it is I do.
So then, can you have both bipolar and happiness? Oh yes, absolutely. You still have the power to make it your own. You still can smile and laugh and feel loved. Though a Low is always waiting to happen, if you surround yourself with loved ones that do their best to understand, you can share in their happiness and their love. It is really about who you take into or allow, even if just for a glimpse, into your little world that says if you can be happy or not. I am Bipolar and I have Tourettes. I accept it and stay as near to those that love me and accept it, whether understood or not... And I smile!

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