No tommorws, just a string of todays.

Tomorrows... though we have no promise of them, they do sometimes come. they come to us until there is simply no more. Our tomorrows are sometimes a gathering of new items, new issues that began just because the night turned to day. Some of them are a carry over from the day before or even the week before. I sit and wonder this morning what we would do if the night and day did NOT separate our yesterdays. What would be our actions if every day was simply a continuation of the moment or hours before.
We wake and hear that saying. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." But what if it were not? Let's imagine for a minute that it is in fact just a continuing of hours and years. Would we live our lives differently? When I go to sleep at night, I say my prayers and ask God to watch over all of those I hold dear. I ask him to forgive me for any wrong I did during the day. Then I roll over and fall asleep, content that tomorrow is a new day and all that was... is now the past. But in reality, it is just a matter of dark vs. light that separates what we have done in a day. Being content that I have said sorries in my heart and spoken to God about my oop's of the day, I sleep.
This morning I woke up with a different thought process. I remembered what I had done yesterday. I played it out in my mind as if the day had never ended at all. And I saw things differently. That attitude I had for an hour or so, the one that hurt someones feelings, was the only thing gone about it. The hurt I had inflicted was still there. Sleeping had not erased it at all. We take a "nap" in the afternoon when we have the chance. When we wake, we continue with the day or evening where ever we left off. Sleep at night is only a nap exaggerated. It is really just a longer nap, that's all. Still, all that we did yesterday and yester-year is still there.
What transpired in my life, many years ago have made me the man i am today. Had life been different, so then would I have been different.Had I been born to a third world country, my life might have been one of struggles and fears and strife. Had I been born to a millionaires family, certainly I would not be who I am today. And yet, still all that happened to me, no matter what life i lived would still have made me the man I would become. I am bipolar and have turrets and some of the reason is because of events I care not to share here, at this time. But I am who i am not because every day started brand new for me. I am ME because every day did NOT start new. They were simply a continuation of the day before, over and over again. For good or bad, I became me.
Imagine if you will for just a moment that tomorrow did not exist. Imagine that today will be today forever and that you will simply "nap" and then the day will go on, eternally. Would you live a different life? Tomorrows Homework is not due tomorrow, it is due Today!{Often the way my daughters viewed when the best time to tell mom and dad of a massive project they had not yet started. lol} There would not be the "grace" period that we often allow ourselves to finish something. The sorrow we caused someone would not be erased with a nights sleep. We would need to go that person and try to make it right. We could not just brush yesterday off our shoulders and go on.
Would i live my life differently? I would like to think not. I would want to tell myself that I did things exactly as I meant to. But no, that would not be true. I would stay to fix whatever wrong I had done. I would love with more zeal and give of myself more if I wasn't able to say "I will do that TOMORROW!" I would strive harder to do things right so that I did not have to lose momentum trying to fix the previous hours wrongs. I would live life as we should be living it. Living it like there was No Tomorrow.I think we would not take for granted our friends or our loves or what we do with each day.
Today I woke and yesterday was still with me. A yesterday of tears for those not with me any longer. A yesterday of smiles I did not return to someone. A Yesterday of tears I did not share with someone that loves me. Unfinished affairs that now halt my desire to go on to today. "Live today like there is no tomorrow." "Tell someone you love them." Do what you want to do as if today is the ONLY day you have to do it. Bring yesterday along with you as if it were today. Do NOT let anything pass you by that might cause someone to smile. I don't know if today will be the "first" day of the rest of my life but I do know it will be the start of my forever. Hugsss to you all. Always, Darrel