Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Things i know about passing on our traits and health issues.

We all want our children to have something of "ours." We want them to have our eyes or our hair. We want to hear people say "You are a mini version of your Father." Pride swells and we step back and say "YEP!" What a great feeling it is inside to watch our children act like us.O.k. well mostly.
Mostly means what about the traits we Do NOT want them to "inherit?" What about the smoking, the temper, the things we wish we hadn't inherited from our own parents or grand-parents? Certainly if we have health issues, it is to be assumed that one or all of our children are going to get them. They are passed on through our system into theirs. Diseases like heart conditions can be passed on to our children. Allergies, cancer and may other illnesses can leave our children predispiditioned to inherit any number of diseases. One reason it is so important to know your families medical history.
But what about depression? What about being Bipolar? Can these disorders be passed on to our children? I think in many ways we can and do pass these issues on to our children.It is documented that we can pass on our depression to our children. I don't think we pass these things on only genetically. Our actions, which our children witness no matter how hard we strive to hide it. They see the way we react to issues that surround ours and their world. if we close ourselves off from people our children will begin to close themselves off.
I am bipolar and I have turrets. I ahve seen some of my issues in my daughters. Things that at times I didn't even realize some of the actions I was passing on until i saw it in them. Traits, actions, that I would have NOT passed on to my daughters if given a choice. The bipolar caused actions and desiscions that my daughters also witnessed.
The good in all of this is that they as well as I, have a safe place. A place {person} that I can turn to who does and will understand moods and tears and highs and lows. What we pass on to our children isn't something we have a say in. They simply happen. Do not live in guilt for what you passed on to your children. BE THERE For them and understand and Love them. You will all be alright if you stay focused and enjoy life. Always, Darrel


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