Thursday, September 25, 2008

Is a new love allowed????

Here is my opening... I shared the most beautiful life any man could have ever dreamed of or deserved with a lady so beautiful. She was my forever lady and my love for all times. I think of the day that I will join her in heaven
But if she is in fact my forever love then am I allowed to love again? To be InLove again? Perhaps not in the same way and certainly not as deeply. I NEVER want to feel that kind of pain and loss and sorrow again in this lifetime. But is it alright if I love someone again? Will it lessen the love I have for My Sheila? Will it take away my dream of one day being with her? Is it saying I have moved on and left her behind???????
These are REAL questions that plague my soul 24/7. I don't want to miss seeing her in heaven where she waits for me. Be kind with your answers, and be honest. She went to heaven 2 1/2 years ago and I still cry for her daily.


Debra W said...


I found your blog because someone searched for the words "Words of a Song: Someone bigger than you or I" on Google. That led them to my blog and yours was the only other one that came up on the search. So, I became curious because usually when doing a Google search more sites come up than someone can go through in an entire lifetime and I found it interesting that there were only two. That is what led me here.

YES, we are allowed to love again. Absolutely, positively! And it would only honor the forever love that you have for your Sheila if you did find a way to love someone else. Here is what I believe, and you can take it for whatever it's worth. Our souls, the part of us that continues on forever, measure things differently. The "earthly" part of us feels that somehow if we love someone again, that we would somehow be dishonoring the love that we have already had. But the "soul" part of us, knows better. Our souls understand that we can love infinitely and therefore one love does not somehow negate or lessen another. When you had your daughters, did having a second child make you feel any less love for the first one? Of course not. That would be ridiculous! The soul views the love of another partner in the same way. Like you said, you may not love someone else in the same way, but you can love again with someone else. The experiences will be very different, but it is okay to love differently.

As far as whether or not this will lessen your chances of being with Sheila again, my belief about that is no. She will be there, waiting for you, regardless.(although if you don't allow yourself to love again, she might give you the cold shoulder for a moment;) Souls see earthly experiences very differently than we do. They understand the different facets of love. The soul feels no jealousy. She will be waiting for you, and so will all of the other souls of people whom you have loved in this lifetime and beyond. All I can tell you is that the soul feels no jealousy. Sheila might even send someone your way if you look closely enough for that person. Have there been any women in the past two and a half years that you might have been able to love if you didn't feel torn? She wants you to love again. She does not want the love of HER life to be sad and alone. That is one thing I can tell you, for sure. So no, loving someone else will not mean that you have moved on and left her behind. Like you said in your previous post, you take your memories with you where ever you go.

So go on and live, Darrel. Allow yourself to find someone who will be your partner for the next part of your life. Not only is it okay, but it's required of you to keep yourself open. Your journey here on earth has not ended. It is up to you to remain open to whatever life brings your way next. Sheila would give you her blessing.

With healing hugs,

Darrel said...

Debra, as you know, I responded to this in a letter to you. I want to say here, that I still found no better way to convey my words of gratitude for the beautiful responce you gave to me here. You touched my soul and gave me reason to smile. For that, I am forever thankful to you. May God Always Bless you and your family. Your heart and soul show so beautifully here and I send you hugsssss from my heart. Thank you, Always, Darrel

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