Thursday, November 5, 2009

Being an Empath... The Feelings of Others.

Before I begin, you need to know what an Empath is. The definition link will tell you the answer, but I think there is so much more. The ability to feel other peoples or even animals emotions is not something I would easily call a "gift" as such. That is not to call it a curse either but perhaps something more in between. The fact that one can take on the sadness or happiness of those around them can be a bit of both. Being psychically tuned in to the emotional experiences of a person brings on a deeper realm of each and every emotion. Although the "good" feelings are stronger, the sadness and horror harbored inside a persons soul is also stronger, more intense.
It was many years ago that I felt the sadness and excitement of people around me. In the beginning, long before I had even heard the word "Empath", it was only those closest to me that I could feel. Even more so, it was those that I felt a sadness for that truly found their way into my mind and my heart. I had not a clue what caused these feelings nor why I seemed to be the only one that could feel them. I smiled at happiness that was not my own. I felt inside that anyone elses smiles were just as much mine. The same had to be said about their sorrow and their loneliness. I could feel the emotions finding a deeper place inside of me as time went on. When I did realize, more was shown that I was an Empath, though it made more sense, the feelings continued to increase. I found ways to channel the feelings so that they were not so intense at times. Especially when it was no longer just those closest to me that I felt.
But I truly write today because of something else I noticed. Maybe learned is a better word. it has everything to do with the emotions i have been talking about. The ones that invade my mind without invitation and send me into a huge tumble. It was the knowledge that it didn't nor does it now matter the intensity of my own sorrows. That the reason they were so often pushed aside for others feelings was that it was and remains more important to see others happy. the happier and more content those I love and am surrounded by, the less sorrow I have to endure for them. The sadness that so many experience is sometimes nearly unbearable for me. I want at times to talk about it with them but there is a fear in me that screams out that if I do that, it will bring it to the surface. This will only guarantee me that the pain will be strong. Powerful enough I believe at times that it could destroy me.
Funny thing, not being afraid so much as to what your own sorrow will do to you as much as you fear what others pain will do to you. Looking at someone, even at a glance, and feeling your whole being fill with sadness is something few imagine and fewer want to. Crying inside and outside for sins you didn't cause but feel inside, none the less. And the knowing that the sadness that is felt is sometimes multiplied by the already too real sorrows of your own past. This... is he life of an Empath. No frills. No balloons or whistles. Just the sounds and the feelings of everyone that walks by you... AM I alone on this one? I doubt it seriously. Darrel


Bret said...

You are by no means alone my friend.

Darrel said...

ty for reading and commenting. It means a lot to know the blogs are still read... Darrel

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