Thursday, April 15, 2010

Write to forget??? An Oxymoron?????

WWriting... something we all do at one time or another but for different reasons. Some write to remember. We write our memoirs and our diaries of everything important that happens to us as we grow up. If it begins to fade a bit from our thoughts or memories, we need only to turn a few pages and we are there again. There are also those that write to forget or transform something painful and make it less destructing of our hearts. That may not make sense but trust me, it is real. Maybe that statement deserves or even screams for an explanation. The statement itself almost takes on the appearance of an Oxymoron. If you write about something, it seems a little doubtful that you are going to forget it. I think differently. Depending on how you write or what image you put it into.
Imagine if you will, you as a child. A hundred things scared us as children. There were the shadows on the wall and the sounds just outside our windows. A noise in the night that sounded too much like "monsters" under our bed. "Monsters Inc" made that very apparent to us all. A Little Sully or Mike scratching around in the closet would send any kid into their mommy and daddies room for the night. As that child grew, he took those "monsters" and made them fuzzballs or dust bunnies and the scarey creatures no longer existed. They were transformed into something that could not hurt us.
Take that same idea and place it on a life happening. The loss of a friend or a loved one is both scarey and painful. To deal with the sorrow and the feelings that steal sleep and cause us to wander far away in our minds is nearly impossible. We do whatever we can to lessen the pain that wracks our souls. We get busy with projects. We surround our selves with new friends or travel to places we did not travel while we were with that loved one. that, is a little like drinking 4 or 5 whiskey sours. It dulls the memory and pain while the whiskey works but then, in the end, the pain is there when we wake. The only difference is we have a headache to remind us of what we did.
And writing can do what? Taking the sorrow and the pain of remembering we lost someone we love very much and transforming it in type to good memories or lessons in life can help to allow you not to go back to the loss quite as often. Remembering the good times and putting them down on paper, or in most cases today, on screen, does help to forget. Not to forget the one we love so much. That I believe is not something that will happen. But to see the happiness that was shared gives us cause to smile. As we smile more, we cry less. Funny things we shared with that loved one brings a different memory to fill in where the sadness was.
We have the abilty to create stories that have a different ending. We can reach into our hearts and from those tears, turn the ending to one of joy. Writing is with out a doubt, theraputic. It gives us a place to go so that our hearts and minds have a chance to heal some. It opens new avenues and tells us that life has gone on and that you Are going to some how survive. The wonderful thing about writing is that we can meld with the words and go to another place where the sorrows are filled with smiles. We can write with a passion, so fast that we forget the real reason were writing. And the best part of it all... you won't wake with a headache.
Take your sadness and make them something new. Remember all the good times. Let your mind wander to when you were happy. The monsters are only under your bed as long as you allow them to be. No Alligator is going to bite your hand and no "Chucky" doll is going to drag you under the bed, unless you continue to believe that it will. As I wrote this, I remembered the beauty of a love eternal. I thought about what made me smile and... I smiled. Writing to forget really isn't as Oxymoronic as one might think. It won't rob you of your memories. It simply makes them a little nicer to sleep with.

2 comments:

ettarose said...

I have not had a tragedy in my life like you had and I can only say I love what you say about remembering the things that make you smile. I can only hope that the memories get sweeter as time goes on. I also hope one day you make memories that are just as nice as those from the past.

Darrel said...

Thank you for your kind words. I think as time goes by, new memories may allow me more time to smile at the ones already made and enjoy the ones that are being made now. Thank you again from my heart for your words. Darrel

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