Thursday, May 27, 2010

And "This too, shall pass.... 'gimel, zayin, yud'

'gimel, zayin, yud'... {translation>> This too shall pass}. Words written on a ring given to King Solomon. Powerful words that caused this great King to replace his smile with a frown. He realized in reading those words that everything he had, all that he possessed from his riches to his wisdom would one day be gone, just as everything on Earth was destined to be in time. Simple words written that have flowed down through the Centuries and been re-told and re-quoted and even claimed by people that had no right to claim them as their own.
 So what has this to do with anything I am writing about today, you may wonder. The answer is, Everything. The words crept into my head today, completely out of no-where, I might add. Nothing really new for me. Sadly, they did to me exactly what they had done to a King, thousands of years before I was even thought of. Centuries have passed and yet those words took me from that smile to a state of depression in less than an instant. A place that has left me today, evaluating, analyzing my life and what I have or have not accomplished. The feelings that whatever I Have done in this life, it is destined to pass away one day.
 The only real chance one has of leaving their mark on the world is to do something great! Something bigger than life. The fact that it is "bigger than life" allowing for that person to live on, long after they have left this world. Elvis did that. Hemingway did that. Even Wyatt Earp did exactly that. Singers, writers, cowboys... common people that became Uncommon by their works. They did not hide away in some room, working every day to try and find that song or novel that would make them a household name. Perhaps not the dream or desire of every person, but certainly the dream of THIS man. But... I think of the people that stand on corners and sing their hearts out, hoping for that one break, one song, that will take them from the corner of "15th avenue and no-where's land" to the memories of people they have never met.
  What is this really all about today? The face of depression. A look inside, up close and very personal, at what depression looks and feels like. Playing and replaying a song. Crying inside for reasons you don't even know. looking back on where you have been and what you have accomplished and feeling a bit lost and empty. A void that one tries daily to fill but can not. Sadness that makes you want to avoid contact with anyone for fear you will suddenly be over-whelmed with sorrow. Fear that you will never reach the top of the Mountain you have climbed and feel from and climbed again. Sorry that you can not talk to anyone because you simply can't find it in yourself to strike up a conversation.
  " 'gimel, zayin, yud'... This too shall pass."  I wonder sometimes. Will it pass or simply find a place to hide until a time when it suddenly surfaces again, the reason again not really known. Surely, time will pass and perhaps I Will find that special word, that chapter or 10 that grabs the attention of someone that says "Wow, let's make this available to everyone." And If I do find it, will it too then "pass"? I wonder if the world really understands the words I write here today? Words written between lines that will go unseen. Songs playing over and over in my mind. In time, will any of it really matter?

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