Friday, March 14, 2008

More about Bipolar...

The site in the title here is an excellent source of information. When I open Google and type in Bipolar, I realize how huge this issue is today. I also hear the echo of people saying "everyone seems to be that... We didn't have it when I was a kid. We just "dealt" with it." Hmmm??? Well, dealing with it then was leaping out a window or any number of ways that it was "Dealt" with. Today there are medications to try. There are support groups and medical staff that see the signs and reach out to help. And there is something more. Something I think is the most important growth and aide in the battle of this disorder. There is public AWARENESS! Help in educating those around us of what Bipolar is and what can be done to help. That is what it takes to make ANY subject more visable and better understood.
But what really happens when you are Bipolar? The chemical change is the "cause" for the disorder. You can read about it in the URL's I have here. But truly, the things that happen daily are the real issues. Can it be turned off or cured? There is no known cure for this disorder but there are, as I have said, meds that can sometimes help. Takeing the medical side away, it is the everyday life happenings that make me what I am and dictates how the disorder affects me.
A comment was left that said "I feel so distant to the subject." It isn't like a Rubics Cube in any way. The sides, no matter how you turn them will never match up. There will always be colors that don't match and thoughts that can't be placed in with others. I wake some days and have not a clue what I am going to do. I fight to decide whether I can get out of bed or not. I fear the day that might be coming. Highs that make you smile so big and so long are so frightening because there is ALWAYS a low in equal proportion to deal with. The one you love that is bipolar may at times seem so far away from you that you feel alienated from them. They may be unwilling to talk or seem angry or irritated at you. One of the hardest things to ask you to do is too simply wait for the moment to pass. Don't take it personally because chances are... it isn't meant to be. Just going to the store sometimes can be a manic moment or a "freak out" moment waiting to happen. Sometimes... we are like a child and need to hold your hand or touch your shoulder to feel safe. Tears that come from no-where, outbursts that are aimed at the open air, simply getting in a vehicle and driving to be alone without warning are just some of the things you might see. Wanting to be left alone for hours on end, sleep that is like mine, 2 or 3 hours a day and still feeling filled with energy are some others.
I know there is still so much to say and to open up to you. I think it is important to know all you can know about this disorder if you are to cope daily with a loved one that has this. The more you know, the better equipped you are to help your loved one. You will never know all of it. How can you? We, the ones that suffer it don't even understand it all the time. But we do what we would ask you to do. Try, thats all. Learn the signs that say "Hey, I don't want to be here" or "I don't want to talk about this." Actions like jerking and head shaking are little things to watch for.
If you love them and you are their "safe" place, remember that it took so much of them to feel safe with you. They will trust you unconditionally until you break that trust. And we alwayssss think you might. Paranoia is simply a huge part of this disorder.
How I wish it Could be "turned off" or "cured" but it can't as of yet.So I will deal with it as best as I can for now. I will cling to my "safe place" and pray for my day to be acceptable to me. I will hope in my heart that you don't feel so "distant" to this disorder as you learn more. And I will alwaysssss be loyal and true to your love. I never said "faithful"... but I did say loyal. God Bless you and keep you safe. Darrel


Magdalen Islands said...

HHUUUGGGGSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! Darrel!
Life is so difficult sometimes.

Darrel said...

yes but it is wonderful friends like you that make it all seem ok... Thank you for you and for being in my life. Always Darrel X

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