Monday, September 27, 2010

Writing for You...

I looked at the name of my blog-site today and it made me wonder. "Things I Know about" was started for several reasons. I wanted a place to put my thoughts. I wanted this place to be somewhere that I could write openly and honestly about issues that effect almost everyone, at least once in their lives. Obviously, the experiences would be a little different from each other since I know that not everyone is bipolar. I know that those that stop here may have loved ones that are inflicted with this disorder. I know that people will stop here for their own personal reasons. They may pass through and never leave a mark on the page. I do hope though that when they leave, they are able to take a little something with them from my own past.
 But back to the name of the site here. "things I know about" started out with me telling you, the reader, about how things in my life had taught me new lessons. How the actions or happenings around me gave me choices of how I would react to each of them. And I wrote about exactly that. From being bipolar and suffering from Tourettes to losing the love of my life and how I would deal with it all, I wrote it down here for you to see. Sometimes, I dug so deep into my soul that I felt as if I were standing naked before each of you. I wrote about my smiles and my tears and the heart break of losing someone so dear to me, it was more like a physical part of my body was torn away from me. The pain was as real as any pain might be, should you have your arm or leg ripped off of your body. You felt it in my writing and I bared my everything for you.
 When I look at some of my writings that are more recently written, I tried to see something I had learned from the event or feeling I was writing about. When I write about my issues of trying to deal with my mind taking me to dark places, telling you how scared or how lonely or sad I am, am I telling you about things I know about? Am I simply writing my thoughts without giving to you a lesson learned? After re-reading a few of the blogs, I believe that I am doing that. i am telling you the roads that being bipolar takes me down. I am showing you that by my writing about it, being candid, that I Am dealing with it. I hope that I am telling you that you are not alone. That is something I know. I am displaying for you things that you as a bipolar person may encounter and that by remembering something you have read here, you will feel a bit less alone. There is a peace in knowing that others feel what you are feeling.
 Even when I wrote my short stories here for you, I am expressing my inner self. Writing is extremely therapeutic for me and so... I write. I write with all of my heart and soul, hoping that maybe it will bring at least of small measure of peace to your souls.
 Things I have learned or that I am learning each and everyday are things I want to pass on to you. I will sometimes write abstractly and may even seem confused in my writing. I am sure that the reader has been exactly where I am at the time of my writing. Lessons are brought to us every day in many forms. It is up to us to decide what we are going to do with them. Those days that I wish no longer to be on this earth are choice days. I can choose to stay or go. So far, thankfully, I have chosen to stay around a bit longer. I will continue to write as long as life allows me to do so.  

4 comments:

Susan said...

I would like to share with you some of the things I have learned since first reading this blog. I have learned about the strength and courage of a man who has survived tragedy in his life, who has lived through the good times and the bad. A man who has perservered when no sunlight pierced his soul, when he was at his darkest, something within kept him going. You have taught this reader that as hard as life is, it is worth living. I see the gentle person who writes about his pain with honesty, knowing how those who misunderstand mental illness may look unkindly, but goes foreward with his convictions. Not everyone can do this, especially the way you have done. I salute you in your bravery and please know that you do live in others hearts.

KB said...

I love reading your blog and learning more about you. I feel blessed to be your friend x

Darrel said...

I read the words here and am filled with wonder. I don't see what you see but then that may be in fact the issue. What I do see is the kindness and reality of your words. They are heart felt and cause this writer to take notice.
It means so much to me to know that something somewhere i have said has touched you, encouraged you and caused you to feel this blogsite is worthy of a moments stop. Thank you seems small and almost fragile in light of your words but it is the truest I have to offer to you. I hope I can continue to keep your words true to you. Thank you very much for this. Always, Darrel

Darrel said...

dearest KB... I thank you for stopping and for your kind words. I do wonder sometimes if More Is better when it comes to discovering new things about me. I guess it's a little late for that thought eh? ;) again I do thank you for your words here. They touch my heart and you too are a blessing in my life. Always, D

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