Friday, October 31, 2008

Win VS. Victory...

Happy Halloween to All. I received a lot of responses to my last post concerning Bipolar people and their loved ones. I was amazed at the people that live with bipolar people and chose to simply pretend that the disorder did not exist. They felt it was simply an act or that their loved one/friend was just looking for some attention. As they read and saw so many similarities in what I was talking about and their person, they began to think that maybe the issue were real. Sadly, one even spoke of their loved one not being taken serious for too long. They lost the battle with life and left a family wondering what they had missed. I took some time and tried to comfort them as best as I knew how. Sometimes,comfort is a long time coming and a hard fought win.
I sit here today and wonder how many bipolar people have been left sitting in a store as the battled to gather their thoughts and find their way to the front door. Too many to really want to know I am sure. I have a young lady that has been my daughters best friend forever I think. She is as much a daughter to me as my own two are. I would do anything for her that I would for my two. She too is Bipolar and suffers many of the same things that I do. We think the same thoughts and battle the same daily wars. Together, we make it through each battle, sharing our thoughts and feelings. But since we will fight the same issues again, we are not yet victorious. As long as we walk through fires and feel some days that life isn't where we want to be anymore, we fight without triumph. And yes, we Do have those days.
Not every battle that is gotten through is a win. But each is still a victory. That may sound strange but there is a difference in winning an being victorious to me. This is the dictionaries take on the word. {{Being the winner in a contest, struggle, war etc; Of, or expressing a sense of victory or triumph}} It says being a winner of and yet sometimes we can win but not be victorious. This applies whether we are bipolar or not and I understand that but to walk in my world a few moments, perhaps you will understand. There are so many times when I have made it through the day, I have won the right to see tomorrow. But was I victorious? If I know that tomorrow will begin anew, with the same issue I just battled does not leave me feeling victorious.
As I spoke to this person concerning her lost loved one, I thought about this. She said that after she read the blog, she felt that she understood more of what had been signs of the coming tragedy. She said it comforted her in a way to finally see that She was not personally responsible for the loss. But why did she not feel totally released from this issue, she asked? That's when it hit me that we can WIN a battle without being victorious in the War. I explained that she had won a great battle but that she had not yet forgiven herself for feeling as if she had missed something. That would be her victory. She understood.
One more way to look at it is this. When a country or a people go to do battle, they often win but not always are they victorious. The saying "we live to fight another day" is the personification of my life. Sometimes they would beat the enemy back but they knew they would fight again the next day or the next week. A win but not a victory.
Each day that I wake to see another day is a win. Each night I lay down my head to sleep is a win. The day that I do not want to leave, when the time comes, IF that time ever does come for me, that I do not wake and need to write down all the reasons I can think of to stay another day, then I will call it a Victory...

MySavings Media

Dollar General - Savings Zone Gevalia