Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Blessed or Fortunate????

Blessed:Enjoying great happiness, eternal bliss,rewarded or holy.
Fortunate: Good, unforeseen, having good luck, favorable or victorious.
These are two words that have caused me to sit and really think lately. I have watched the news and watched Plant after Plant close down. I have read and heard of the thousands on thousands of people that are losing their jobs. It is a frightening time and especially for those directly touched by the economic situation world-wide. I sat back and looked at myself. Being Bipolar, too often even when life is great, I am down or saddened.I listen to the World issues and hear the word "fortunate" brought up. People fortunate to have jobs or money put aside for these "rainy" days. I thought to myself, am I blessed or am I simply fortunate? Strange question, I am sure to some but to me a very real question.
I looked up both words and though I found similarities, I also noticed a few differences. Fortunate seemed to have more to do with "luck." Luck being "the chance happening of fortunate" and "One's personal fate or lot." Blessed had more to do with something given to one rather than simply by chance. I thought about my up-coming vacation and the fact that I am able to go and enjoy. The very fact that I have the income to take a vacation while others strive simply to feed their family seems to bother me. And yet at the same time, I feel extremely blessed. I know in my heart of hearts that I have been blessed more than any one man ever deserved to be... especially THIS man.
I didn't grow up in a family of love by chance. I didn't have the opportunity to reach out and help my blind brother nor the friends that I hung with. I chose to do so and was rewarded for doing so in more ways than I can convey here. It wasn't fortune that a beautiful lady, filled with love for me came into my life. Being fortunate did not have anything to do with being a published author. All of these things came to me because I was blessed. Someone bigger than me saw fit to reach down and touch my life in a beautiful way. The things I had experienced in my life, good and bad, have taught me the things I need to survive in a world that cares more for the income of money than the in-flow of love into their lives.
I think that we need to sit down sometimes, look hard at what we have and where we are in our lives. We need to realize that blessings need to be acknowledged and praise given to the one that brings to us the blessings of our lives. There are many things in this world that seem to seek us out and try to take from us the bliss that comes with blessings. It is up to us to embrace what we DO have and be thankful.
My heart goes out to those that are suffering because of jobs being taken from them. But I think that through what happens in our lives, it may be an opportunity for those we love and love us to bless their family and in turn be blessed themselves. Reaching out to loved ones that have fallen prey to the economy is a perfect opportunity to give of ourselves and to touch the lives of those we love. Will we let them seek out being fortunate, leaving it to "chance" what happens to our family... or will we reach out and bless them? Giving of our selves and helping them to see blessings also. I think that when a door closes, another does not always open. But... it does appear and we do have the choice to open it or leave it closed. I hope that we are a people that Will open that door and allow the blessings to flow.
Fortunate or Blessed. I want my life to be blessed. I don't want it left to chance whether i survive in this sometimes very cold, very frightening world. Sometimes, issues such as this cause me to simply sit down and think. And I take the time to say "thank you" to the one that has indeed blessed me so in this life.
Why I write what I write sometimes, I am not always sure. A feeling that compels me to do so. I hope you do not mind the ramblings of a man that knows he has been blessed. Always, Darrel

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The End Of The World is 2012?????

Today, I am going somewhere I do not often go in my blogs. Though I am not in any way ashamed nor deny my religious background, that of a "born again christian", I do not write of it often because I respect that there are many beliefs and many cultures that are present in the cyber world. Each of their own accord and each with their own thoughts. These are simply my own thoughts.
Widely spoken of and answers sought after for is the date December 21st, 2012. Brought to our attention because of the Mayan Calendar, many believe this to be the day the end of times will be. Some call it the day of rapture while others simply say it is the end of the world. I am reminded for a moment of the Y2K and how people stocked their basements with canned goods and all sorts of things. As January 1,2000 came and went, a great many people had, well, a lot of canned goods to eat.
Being curious, just like anyone else is, I did a study of the Mayan Calendar and of it's "prophecies." I am often fascinated with people and their unquenchable desire to know when the last days will be. Is this so they are prepared? Are they trying to calculate when they need to behave so they aren't caught being naughty on the day that Christ returns? Everyone, I am sure has their own agenda for that time. I am also amazed at the fact that with all the "seers" or "prophets" we have encountered through out history, the one that truly mattered and should still matter, we easily pass over and try and find a way past his words.
When the passages of Nostradamus were brought to our attention, it was all about his words and his "prophecies." He told of the Kennedy's and of wars and deaths. We read of him and still do today. He said "In the City of God there will be a great thunder, Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb", The third big war will begin when the big city is burning"
- Nostradamus 1654
I question this only in asking When the "City of God" became New York City?" Hmmm???
But his predictions have faded with the new Mayan Issue. A people that simply vanished into the mountains of the Yucatan Peninsula, they left behind buildings and temples and evidence of human sacrifices. They left pottery and bark made books. And... they left behind a Calendar. The very essence of the "2012" end times. A large number of scholars today do NOT believe they left a calling card for the end of the world. Most believe that it was simply a warning of things to come. A fascinating people and culture, I too have read and written on their lives as much as we know. The Spanish feared them as satanic and barbaric and destroyed a huge amount of the things the Mayans left behind. When a German scholar read the Dresden Codex and cracked the code of the Mayan calendar, he brought forth the fact that the calendar ended in 2012. It is this reason that so many believe the "end times" are upon us and will be finished on December 21, 2012.
Though interesting and thought provoking, there is another "book" of events and prophecies that has seemingly been past over. That "book" also tells of the past and has many "Prophecies" that give us some knowledge into the end times and the answer to when Christ will return. The Holy Bible speaks to us of the millennium times. It also speaks of the end times and the apostle Paul spoke of the end times and rapture. The millenniumtimes is a time when chaos and Satan will run rampant for 1000 years. There will be a time when the Lion and the Lamb will lay with one another. Peace for a time. The Bible tells us what we need to know and answers the question concerning 2012 or any other year we choose to be the "end of the world."
Mark 13:32 answers whether 2012 is The Day! Matthew 24:36 says it too.Jesus tells us that ONLY the father in heaven knows when the end will be. It will be when we least expect it, according to Jesus' word. So if this is said and believed to be so, as I believe, then the Mayan Calendar and the 2012, end of the world issues is Mute. What exactly the date means, I can not tell you, nor do I believe anyone can. If even his "only begotten Son" {John 3:16} doesn't know, then why do we think God decided to whisper in peoples ear and tell them?
Why did the calendar end where it did? I don't know. Could this be the date for the second coming of Christ? I do not have that answer but... I do know that if it is to be "Unexpected" and it is to come like a thief in the night, then that means we will NOT have years to think about all that matters. It will just Happen! The end times are upon us. Satan is loosed and having a fun time with the people of the Earth, But...I do Not believe that 2012 will end our world and life on it. That one... I will leave to my Father God in heaven.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Bipolar: Understood or Pacified?

It seems to me that there is a huge difference between truly trying to understand a person who is Bipolar and simply Pacifying them. It is hard to understand a bipolar persons inward thoughts or their acts as they go through their daily walk. Sometimes it is hard even for those of us that suffer through it. But the question remains... Are we understood or do those dearest to us simply choose not to open to much of a door to our inner thoughts for fear that it may be more than they care to follow along with. Repetitive mentions of where we go and how are minds work is there because we do not see the understanding many times.
There are times when "life" is happening for me and perhaps happening too fast and it sets me on a tail-spin in the wrong direction. Asking for a breather from it all often results in a confrontation. Something I simply do my best to avoid. I want so badly for my loved ones to see me when I am stumbling. I want them to try and understand that there truly is Nothing I can do about the tumbles I take into dark places few would ever wan to go. Something as simple as moving a picture or changing where a table is setting is all too often enough to take me downward.
In talking about these things, sometimes when I Do try and explain why I am reacting to a certain scenario, the results are the creating of another issue or another discussion that my already racing mind can not handle. I try to explain and am met with "yea, I understand!" Those words are very often "pacifying" words meant only to say "let's move on" or "get over it." I don't want to be pacified. I don't want you to agree with me simply to move on to the next activity of the day. Can they see our hands shaking? Can they hear the stress in our voices? Is it hard to detect the impact a certain conversation is having on us? I know we are "high maintenance... I know we are not easy to live with. I also know that when I freak out because someone dear touched me or suggested we do something, without warning, I can not help nor stop what I do or how I react. Oh God, how I wish i could do it or make it different. I Can Not!
As a man that suffers from not only Bipolar disorder but also Tourret airdrome, I know that there are things I will do and simply try to avoid crowded places. those of us that suffer in this way want to simply hide and cry our hearts out. We want to get away from whatever it is that is sending us into a mind frenzy. Too often, the loved one causing the racing doesn't see what is happening until it is physically manifesting itself. The "tics" and the squirming and the out-bursts {though they may be loud or soft} are dead give-aways that we are experiencing difficulties with the conversation at hand. We try as hard as we can to get through it but often times, Our hearts are crying and it moves to the outside. Now we are fully exposed and the issues go on and on.
Rather than say to us that you understand and then go on about your business, ask us what is on our minds. Take the time to try and really listen and hear the sorrows and guilt's and sadness and disconnections that we live with every single day of our lives. Sometimes we are a "push" away from doing something bad that we will not be able to go back and fix later. Don't just smile or glare at us when we are talking. If we ARE talking to you, then you have earned our trust and that is Monumental. To pacify us is to ignore and say to us "I don't want talk about this." Our minds process things and at times, it can take a long time do so. So please, don't nod or agree or roll your eyes at me. Do not say yes if you mean no. It will only serve to take us further away from you.
Does any of this make sense? It truly does make sense to me, and it truly is my heart. Thank you for reading this and if you are a loved one of someone suffering, please remember that they do their best. they love you and trust you and that says more than I could ever convey here to you.

Friday, May 15, 2009

What Makes You Scream... Final Part.

The trees seemed to go on forever. James carried Margo for as long as he could before needing to stop and rest. he checked her stomach and saw the bleeding had lessened. He wasn't sure if it was because it had closed or if she was bleeding to death. Margo opened her eyes.
"We aren't going to make it, Love. I am so sorry."
"Sorry? This is not your fault, baby, and we ARE going to make it. We just have to find a safe place until the Sheriff finds us. Just stay with me, please."
"I am trying, James. I don't want to die." Her tears flowed and James kissed them.
"I won't let you die... I promise." James heard the sound of a truck coming towards them. He laid flat on the ground and covered Margo's body with his. He watched through the trees to see who it was. He prayed it was the Sheriff.
"I can not wait to get you in my hands! I am going to take you way-y-y-y-y-y back in the woods so no one hears you screaming for the hours and hours I am going to torture you! It is going to be so fun! You won't have my baby brother to help you either. I had to kill him because of you! Do you hear me out there??!!! I know you can hear me! Someone is bleeding real bad. Too bad i won't be able to torture you both!"
James laid motionless on the ground. Terrified that Cleedace would find them, he held tight to Margo. He had to find a way to get to safety. He simply didn't know how. He heard a door slam shut. His heart raced at the thought of Cleedace now outside the truck. He could hear the branches snapping to the side of where he laid. The snapping was ow in front of him and getting further away. He had walked passed them. It would not be long before he would back-track. James had to do something. He slid off of Margo and was going to move her. He felt her body. It seemed cold. Too cold for his body to have been laying on her. Panicking, James felt her wrist for a pulse. He could feel nothing. He felt her neck and got the same thing. His whole body sagged into the ground as he pulled her to him. He tried to get her to move but she stayed motionless.
"Baby... please, wake up baby, please," he whispered into her ear. There was no response. Tears began to flow from his eyes as he hugged her lifeless body to his. "No-o-o-o-o-o! No baby, don't leave me like this. God, help me!"
The snap was loud and directly behind James. He laid Margo's body down gently and then turned to face Cleedace.
"Dang, I was hoping she and I would become good friends. Shame to lose such a pretty thing. Guess it won't be as much fun with out her, huh? But then, you won't be far behind her."
Cleedace reached down and grabbed James by his shirt collar. He tossed him into a tree. James felt the impact on his back and slid to the ground. As he watched Cleedace poking Margo's body with a stick, something exploded inside of him. As Cleedace turned towards James, James grabbed a long branch laying at his feet. With all the energy he could find, he stood and waited for Cleedace to get closer. Not expecting any resistance, Cleedace walked right up to James. Suddenly, James lift the branch in the air and brought it down on Cleedace's neck. Taken by surprise, Cleedace was knocked to his knees. James rushed forward and struck him again, hard in the face. The branch hit with such force, it broke in half.
"You killed my wife! You took the only thing I loved away from me. You are going to die!" he lifted the branch again as Cleedace was trying to stand. Blood covered his face and he was trying to wipe it from his eyes as the branch hit him again. "You won't ever kill again!"
Cleedace laid motionless on the ground. James went over to Margo's body. He held her in his arms, rocking her body as he cried hard. He didn't hear the movement behind him. He didn't see the gun raised and aimed at his head. He only heard the sound of the gun being fired. He closed his eyes and waited for the impact of the bullet. He would die with his Margo in his arms.
"I love you forever, baby. I will see you in heaven," he whispered.
The impact never came. James heard the sound of Cleedace's body hitting the ground. He turned to look into the face of a Sheriff and his deputy. Cleedace laid dead beside them.
"Sir... are you alright? It is alright now, he is dead. Is there anyone else?"
James tried to focus on the sheriff's words. "He killed my wife! He killed her and I couldn't save her."
"Is there anyone else out here, Sir?"
"No, no one else. The ranger is dead.His brother killed him for helping us. There is no one else."
The deputy walked over to Margo's body. He felt for a pulse and then laid his head on her chest. He felt her neck. "Sir, this woman is still alive. She hasn't got long to live. We need to get her out of here now!"
James could not believe the words he was hearing. Margo was still alive. The sheriff called in a helicopter to transport Margo to a nearby Hospital. James had to ride in with the Sheriff while the deputy called in help to take Cleedace and Bobby's bodies in. James told everything to the Sheriff and explained that the ranger had saved their lives. He was a hero. He told him of the camping gear stash too.
At the hospital that night, James sat silently beside Margo. The doctors said she would be fine after a few days in the hospital recovering. She had needed a lot of blood and stitches but otherwise, she was going to be fine. He felt her hand move slowly across his. She tried to talk but was very weak.
"Shhhh, don't talk Love. I thought I lost you out there. I wouldn't have cared if that maniac killed me if I lost you. I love you so much."
She smiled soft. "I love you too" she said in a whisper. "James..."
"What baby? What can I do for you."
"No camping for a while, please." She smiled at him.
James smiled big back at her. He leaned down and kissed her softly. "No My Love... No camping for a while. I promise..."

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

What Makes You Scream... Part 6

Margo ran for what seemed like forever. Her face was bleeding again from the branches scratching her. She ran until she found the cabin that the note had mentioned. It was a small cabin with a window missing. She pushed on the door but it did not open. She pushed it hard with her shoulder but still it stayed closed. She went to the side of the house that the window was out of. As she climbed through, a shard of glass cut her across her stomach. She held it until she was inside. The bleeding was more than she needed but she had to stay focused on getting safe. She found the phone and picked it up. She was thankful there was a dial-tone. Margo dialed 911. When the operator picked up, her whole body sagged in relief.
"You need to listen to me carefully. My name is Margo Spencer and I am somewhere in the Pine Lake Park area. I don't know where but it is a cabin out here. They have my husband and I need your help. Please!!!!"
"Ma'am, who has your husband?"
"The ranger and his brother! I don't know who they are! Please send someone out here!"
"We have you on our monitor and I am calling the Sheriff's office now. You need to stay where you are until help arrives."
"I am bleeding very badly! I cut my stomach and it hurts so bad."
"You need to stay with me on the line if you can. It is very important that you do that, Margo."
"I am not going anywhere!" Margo found some towels and pressed them against her stomach. She could feel herself wanting to pass out and the voice on the phone seemed to be getting farther away each minute. "Please hurry... I don't know how much longer I can stay awake."
"We passed that Broad somewhere, Bobby. I am turning around and going back through the trees. She could not have made it this far!"
Bobby looked at Cleedace and then at James. "Yes, we can turn around anytime. I think she lost energy and is hiding somewhere."
"Unless she made it to that cabin a mile or so ahead. We might as well go that far. We can turn around there."
"Why waste the time? Let's just go back. We can get rid of this guy. He isn't doing us any good."
"It's only a mile up the road. It isn't going to hurt us to go there! Why are you so fidgety!?"
"I just want to be done with this! I am tired of covering your tracks! This has to stop, Cleedace!"
The truck came to an abrupt halt. James was tossed against the back window of the truck. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"Listen to me brother! Nothing stops 'till I stop it! Your bad shootin' is why I do these things! You are to blame for my problems and you know it! That's why you cover for me and that's why you will always cover for me!"
"I never meant to shoot you! It was 20 years ago, damn it! What you do is because you need help... not because we were playing and I shot you in the head! And you know what Cleedace!!!??? It stops now! I am done with it! I would rather spend the rest of my life in prison than watch you kill another person."
Bobby pulled his gun from it's holster. As he turned to aim it at Cleedace, a fist struck him in the face. The power from the hit knock him out of the truck. Before he could stand up, he felt his brothers hands grab him by the hair. Another punch sent him rolling across the ground. James was trying to untie the rope around his neck while the men fought. He watched Bobby stand up and knock Cleedace down. The two men wrestled on the ground, both intent on winning. James felt the rpe fall from his neck. He jumped over the side of the truck. He wanted to just run but the ranger had helped him and he could not leave him like this. He jumped on Cleedace and pulled him off of Bobby. The rage in Cleedace was like a wild animal. He turned around and threw James to the ground. Kicking him in the sides, he raced to where the gun had fallen. Reaching it before Bobby could, he turned and aimed it at the two men.
"See... now I have to kill you both! This is your fault again, Brother. It's all your fault! You never were as smart as me!"
"Cleedace, just let him go and we will work this out. There will be other campers, other chances."
"I don't want other campers! I want them!" Cleedace waved the gun at James. James expected the sting of a bullet anytime.
"Just give me the gun... or keep it and let's go. It will be alright!"
"So he can call the cops and tell them where we are!"
"It's too late now, anyways. His wife went to the cabin and called the sheriff. They will be coming soon for both of us. This is our only chance to get away."
"How do you know that!"
"I told her. She was in the trees when we stopped back a ways. I left her a note telling her where to go. Don't you see... it is done."
The gun went of so fast, it even seemed to surprise Cleedace. Bobby felt the sting in his left side. The warmth of blood filled his shirt instantly. He stared at Cleedace and then at his blood-stained shirt.
"Look! Look what you made me do! Now what am I gonna do?! This wasn't supposed to happen!"
Bobby looked at James. He knew he had only one last chance to redeem himself. He lunged forward with all the strength he had left in him. The surprise hit took Cleedace to the ground. Bobby knew he couldn't hold his brother for long.
"James... run damn you, RUN!!!!!!!!! Get to that cabin and get your wife out of there. Just keep running until you are out of the forest! Don't stop for anything. If she called, the sherriff isn't far away! Just get out of here!"
Bobby tightened his grip on Cleedace.
"I can't leave you here! I have to..."
"You have to run and save your wife! It is too late for me! Now Go! I can't hold him much longer! I am so sorry!"
James saw Cleedace turning the gun towards him. He ran as fast as he could towards the cabin. "Thank you, Sheriff!" he yelled as he ran. he spotted the cabin and raced to the door. It was locked. "Margo... Margo, open the door, it's me!" With no answer, James shoved as hard as he could against the door. The wood splintered around the Jam and it opened. There on the floor, in a pool of blood was Margo.
"Oh My God! Margo, wake up baby. We have to get out of here!"
Margo opened her eyes. She wrapped around James and cried. "I am hurt baby. I don't know if I can get up."
"Then I will carry you!" James took the phone from her. "Hello!?"
"Who am I speaking to?"
"This is Margo husband! We are getting out of this cabin and running! The killer is going to be here soon! Just send help, fast!"
"Sir, you need to stay where you are. The Sheriff is very close to your location. Just wait for..."
James tossed the phone to the ground. "Wait, my ass! Come on Margo, we are going!"
He leaned down and took his wife in his arms. He headed straight for the thickest part of the woods. A shot rang out behind them. James knew what it meant. He began to move as fast as he could. A voice rang out from somewhere behind them.
"You won't get away from me! You made me kill my brother! I am coming to get you! I am going to kill you both!!!!!!!!!"

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

What Makes You Scream... part 5

Cleedace watched James as they drove through the forests. The smell in the truck was terrible and James rolled his window down.
"What are you doing, Boy?"
"I am just rolling the window down so I can call out to Margo. You want to find her, don't you?"
James knew that if they did find Margo that Cleedace would be even harder to keep at bay. He hoped she had gotten far enough away not to be found.
Margo felt the branches striking her face as she ran. The blood ran down her face and she wiped it away without slowing down. She knew she had to find help soon. The men that had James would kill him without hesitation. Tears mingled with the blood and she tried to stop the crying. She could see the road from the trees and stayed just out of site without being seen. She had seen nobody and fear gripped her. She stopped to rest for a moment using her top to wipe the blood from her face and eyes. The stinging from blood and sweat in her eyes made it hard to see. As she sat, trying to breath normal, Margo heard a sound coming from the road below her. She tilted her head towards the sound.
"A truck! Oh my God, it sounds like a truck coming" she said aloud. She ran down towards the road to see if she could see anything. She could hear a voice calling out her name. "James" she whispered. "Why are you calling me, Love? Do I come to you or keep running?"
The truck rounded a bend in the road and Margo could see inside. Her heart felt heavy and her breathing increased as she looked through the windshield of the truck. There sat the Ranger and his brother. James was in the back of the truck, calling out to her. She could see a rope around his neck. It went from his neck, through a small window between the cab and the bed of the truck. She slid herself back into the trees and laid flat on the ground. She was certain they were forcing James to call for her. She watched as the truck neared where she was hiding.
"Stop!" she heard James call out. The brother slammed on the brakes and pulled the truck off the road. He turned to look at James.
"What the hell do you want?! Did you see her!?"
"No, I need to go to the bathroom."
The face on Cleedace turned to anger again. He jumped out of the truck and grabbed James. The rope tightened around his neck as James struggled not to be pulled over the side of the truck. "You call out like that to pee!? I should let you choke to death for that!"
"Please, I can't wait now." James' voice was gravely from the rope squeezing his throat. "I only need a minute!"
"You can do it right in the truck! Get it over with before i just shoot you!"
Watching from the trees, tears filled Margo's eyes again. She could not bare to see her husband like this. She began to stand up to show herself. It was better to die with James than to watch him suffer this way. Suddenly, she saw the ranger get out of the truck. He looked directly at her and she was certain he would tell his brother. Panic set in again and she gripped the ground, digging her nails into the soil. The ranger walked towards her and then stopped. He turned and looked at Cleedace and James.
"Cleedace, he won't be any good to us if you kill him now. Let him breath and pee and we can get out of here. I am going to go myself."
As Margo began to stand she saw the ranger look at her. He shook his head as if to tell her no. Confusion took over for her and she wondered why he was doing this. She saw him writing on a note pad he had in his shirt pocket. When he had finished, he dropped the note pad and looked down at where it was laying. He nodded at Margo and then turned back to the truck. He pointed behind him at the note pad once more as if he wanted to be sure she saw it. Looking back at her, he saw her shake her head yes.
"We need too get going, Cleedace. We need to find that wench before it turns dark. Load up!"
Cleedace released his grip on James and got in the truck. Bobby walked around the back of the truck. He stopped where James was now kneeling and leaned in towards James. He talked low and tried not to move his lips to much.
"She is in the trees right beside us. Do Not look at her. I left her a note. She will read it when we leave. She is going to be fine. Just keep doing what you are doing."
James wanted more than anything to look up at where she was. He knew he dared not until they were moving again. Bobby reached out and slapped James hard in the face and then got into the truck.
"Alright, let's go!"
As they pulled away, James looked into the trees. He saw Margo, staring at him and crying. He placed his arms across his chest to say I love you to her. Tears filled his eyes as she blew a kiss to him. In a moment, they were past her and James' heart broke. Leaving her alone this way was the hardest thing he had ever done. He knew it was her only chance to live.
When the truck was out of sight, Margo ran to the road. She picked up the notepad and opened it. A note was inside the first page.
"You are 3 miles from a cabin in the forest. Stay going straight along the road and you will find it. There is a phone inside. Call the Sheriff's Office and tell him where you are. Call the rangers station and tell them what is happening. You will be safe there until someone shows up."
Margo read the letter and cried. She folded it up and went back into the forest. darkness would be on her before she reached the cabin. She began to run as fast as she could. She did not want to be out in the dark more than she had to be. Why the ranger was helping her, she had no clue. All that mattered was that he was. Margo ran and ran and ran.

Monday, May 11, 2009

What Makes You Scream. Pt 4

James woke to the sound of two men arguing. Still groggy from the darts effect, he tried to stand and sat back down. He looked around, trying to focus on his surroundings. The area was extremely dense in Pine trees, so thick one could not see past the branches. His senses clearing, he thought of Margo. Panic set in as he stood and looked around for her. He wanted to call out her name but he could still hear the men outside arguing. James walked quietly towards a bundle of clothing laying on the ground near the edge of the stand. His heart skipped when he saw it was covered in blood. Not wanting to draw attention to his movements, James crawled on his hands and knees to the bundle. Slowly he unwrapped it, tears in his eyes at the thought of what he might find inside. As the last layer was taken away, relief filled his senses. A small deer was wrapped inside.
"Thank you, God" was all he could utter. He saw an opening in the stand of trees. As he entered what looked like a man made tree canape, he saw her. Laying on the ground, snuggle against herself in a fetal position was Margo. Unsure if she was sleeping or... otherwise, he slipped his hand around her mouth and held her to him. As soon as he touched her, she jumped and tried to scream.
"Margo... don't! It is me! Please don't scream, baby." Tears filled his eyes as he held her tighter.
Margo took his face in her hands and kissed him. "James! Oh God, I thought you were dead! I tried to find you but they said if I tried to get away, they would just kill me!"
"I can hear who-ever it is outside arguing. They are fighting about what to do with us. Did you see them? Who are they?!"
"One of them is the ranger. He called the other one brother when they tossed me in here. I don't know what they are going to do with us. The ranger said something about not fixing his mess ups anymore. I don't know what that means. James... beyond the trees here..."
Margo's voice trailed off and she began to cry. "Beyond the trees is what, Margo? Tell me."
"There is a stack of camping gear. Ours is in there too."
"We have to get out of here, Margo. I think they are killers. We have to find a way out and get help. One of us running might keep them here or at least separate them from each other. I can fend for myself and you are a faster runner than I am."
"No! God, no! We have to stay together, James! We can not split and..."
"And what Margo?! Stay here so they can kill us both together. There has to be a road near by. You find it and then stay in the trees beside it so you won't be seen. It is our only chance. You have to go Now, while they are still arguing!"
James kissed her and then pushed her through the small stand of trees. The arguing suddenly stopped. "Run Margo, run as fast as you can, Now!!!!!"
Margo was out of James' sight in a moment. The men came racing towards James. He knew the Ranger but the other one he had not seen. Looking down as they approached him, he realized the bare feet he had seen at the truck belonged to the man he figured to be the brother. As he got closer James knew the odor also belonged to this man. The man grabbed James and shoved him against the tree stand.
"Where is she?! Where did your wife go?!?!?!" The anger in the man's eyes made James second guess his ability to ward them off. The man reached down and grabbed James by his shirt, lifting him off the ground for a moment. "You can call her back or I will find her and kill her while you watch!" Drool was running down the mans face as he yelled. James thought he looked like a rabid dog. "You stupid idiot! I am going to kill you first and let her watch!"
The man raised his huge fists in the air and was about to bring them down on James' chest. Suddenly, a voice barked out from behind the man.
"Cleedace, Stop!!! Do not touch that man! I will hurt you if you do!"
James prayed a silent prayer that the man would heed the Rangers warning. He was sure one blow from the mans fists would kill him. At the very least, his chest would be crushed. The man stopped and turned to look at the Ranger. His face was still contorted in anger.
"He let her go, Bobbie! She is running away and it is his fault!"
He turned and looked at James with a look that scared James nearly to death.
"Where is she going to go, Cleedace!? How far do you think she will get before we find her, or a bear gets her!??"
"What are we going to do with him then? He is a problem!"
"He is coming with us. We can use him to catch his wife. He is our best bet."
"Can you tell me what is going on here?!"
Both men turned to look at James. He wasn't sure if he had stopped them or given them reason to kill him. The Ranger stepped between James and the other man.
"Your only care should be calling your wife back here! I mean that too. That is if you want to live."
"You are going to kill me anyways so I might as well know. Who I am I going to tell way out here?"
The Ranger stepped up to talk. "I am Bob and this is my brother Cleedace. He sometimes takes thing that are not his. He isn't all good in his head, but he is still my brother. I can not turn him in so I play advocate for him."
"The other family? Was there another family?"
"Yea, they really existed."
"Existed, as in past tense!?"
"He doesn't mean to hurt anyone. He just wants someone to like him and they always freak and then... Well."
"Why don't you just let me go and I won't say a word to anyone?"
The ranger just stared at James. James was hoping he was thinking about his offer. The ranger stepped forward and punched James in the face. The blow knocked James off his feet and he laid on the ground, staring up at the ranger. He thought the man was going to punch him again. The ranger leaned down and spoke softly to James.
"Listen to me. Your only chance is to trust me. I have to be aggressive or my brother Will kill you. I am taking you with us to find your wife. I can not hide his sins any more. I need you to understand that he is my brother and I have tried to keep him safe."
"When you find Margo, are you going to kill us?"
"I want to get you out of here and i am going to try but you have to go along with whatever I do."
Cleedace began walking towards them. The ranger kicked James in the side. "And I have no issues with killing you right here! You are coming along with us. When we find your wife, we are finishing this. Now Get up and walk, you piece of garbage!!!!"
James stood and walked towards the truck. His face was covered in blood and the kick in his side made him sick to his stomach. He could only pray that the words and the kick were still part of an act. As they drove away, he wondered how far Margo had gotten. He leaned into the window and cried.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

What Makes You Scream. Pt. 3

James reached the truck and pulled the truck door open. Margo's limp body fell into his arms as he tried to keep her from falling out. He looked across the seat at the man standing at the door.
"What happened to her?!?!?! Why was she screaming?!"
"I don't know. I was coming back to check on you two and when I touched the window, she started screaming. I don't think she even really looked up at me."
"She scared herself out here! It would not have taken more than you touching the truck." James was looking at the same Ranger that had passed them through earlier in the day. He felt somehow relieved to see him here. Margo began to stir in his arms. She wrapped her arms around James' neck. "It's alright baby, I have you. Everything is o.k."
Margo tightened her grip on his neck, nearly choking him. "No, no!!! There was someone at the truck door, James. I heard it!"
"I know, Love. It was the Ranger. He is here with us right now."
"I am sorry for scaring you ma'am. I wanted to check on you two and tell you we found that family. It seems like it is a good thing I did. You have a couple of flat tires."
"They were that way when we came to pack. We were going to drive out to an open area and then call someone for help."
"Packing? Were you going to leave? Such a beautiful place this time of year."
"Not were, mister... Are! There is someone out here and we aren't staying here!"
"Someone out here, ma'am? What are you talking about?"
"A freak! Someone watching us and touching my feet! He hides in the bushes, watching everything we do!"
"I can assure you there is no one out here but you two right now. Maybe you just let your imagination run a..."
"It was not my imagination! We smelled him, I heard him laugh! Tell him, James!"
"We did smell something nasty out here. Like old clothes or something."
"Well, I don't know what it would be. Just deer and other animals out here. I will go get my truck and give you a hand with these tires.I might have a tire that will get you out of here if you have one spare."
"I do. I will start changing one now."
Margo looked at the Ranger. Something didn't seem right to her. Call it her woman's intuition, she didn't care. She waited for him to leave.
"James, something is wrong!"
"What are you talking about?"
"The tires. He was only on one side of the truck! How did he know we had two flats?"
"Margo, stop it! You are going to far now. He is a Ranger and he is going to help us get out of here. Why don't you keep loading stuff and I will change the tire. Please?"
Margo started putting things in the truck. She looked around as she did. "James. Why didn't he have his truck?"
"The Ranger. Where was his truck? Why did he have to go back and get it?"
"I don't know. Maybe he likes walking. Maybe he parked in an open area. Please Margo, let's just finish and get out of here. You are starting to make me jumpy."
Margo walked to the campsite. She looked around with her eyebrows furled. She knew she was at the right spot. She could see the little makeshift bathroom. Other than the lean to, everything was gone. The bushes moved a little beside her and suddenly, the smell was back. She nearly choked when she breathed it in. Slowly she backed up, retracing her steps back towards the truck. She was determined not to scream this time. She hoped the Ranger would be back and he could smell this thing himself. She reached the truck and whispered James' name.
"Are you listening to me? James? Where are you, damn it?!" Panic began to set in again. She was looking all around for James. Suddenly, the bushes behind her moved and a branch snapped. Margo screamed again. The hand on her shoulder made her scream louder.
"Hey, he-e-e-e-ey... it is me, for God's sake! I was using the little boy's room."
Margo grabbed James and held on to him tight. "It's gone James! The only thing left is that smell!"
He did not even question what was gone this time. Somehow he knew what she meant. Now, he too was beginning to worry. It had been nearly an hour since the Ranger left and James had finished the first tire. He decided they weren't waiting for the Ranger to return.
"Get in the truck, Margo."
"Get in the truck! We are getting out of here. Something is just not alright with all of this. The ranger should have been back by now. No deer stole our stuff and that smell wasn't an animal. We are leaving right now."
As James was getting into the truck, he felt a sting on his neck. Slapping at it as if a mosquito had bitten him, he felt the dart sticking out of his neck. Pulling it out, he looked at Margo. Her eyes were as big as saucers and her scream seemed to be fading from his ears as quickly as it started. He looked behind her. The Rangers face seemed to have a smile on it. James' thoughts were becoming scattered as he tried to focus and stay standing. Falling to his knees, he looked down and saw the Rangers feet. "Strange" he thought. Why would a Ranger be bare-footed? None of it made sense. It was the last thing that James saw before he passed out.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

What Makes You Scream. Pt.2

Margo was beginning to settle in to the outdoors a little. She enjoyed the fresh air but still preferred the sounds of the city to the silence that enveloped them in the forest.
"Quiet?! What do you mean by quiet? You have to tune in your ears, your senses to be able to notice the sounds out here, Margo. There is running water and birds and animals moving through the trees. Mother nature is alive and well for us."
"It isn't Mother Nature I am worried about, James. It's the "animals moving" thing that bothers me."
"It is Friday so we will start seeing campers soon. That's why I wanted to get here first, so we didn't lose the best spot."
James put his arm around her waist and walked with her to the edge of a small cliff. There was a waterfall cascading down the other side of the ravine. A rainbow formed at the waters edge where the sun shined down on it. The trees moved slowly in the breeze and a deer walked down to the waters edge to drink.
"Look at all of this beauty, sweetheart. Tell me where else you are going to find this scene."
"That my dear James, is why we have the Discovery Channel," she answered with a smile.
There was a sound behind them that made them both turn. The snap was loud and came from the heavily wooded area just beyond their camp-site. They both stared in the direction of the sound. Nothing moved.
"What the hell was that??!"
"It was probably just a deer walking past us. You need to relax, Love."
"Then why didn't I see any trees moving?" There was another loud snap, this time behind them, near where they had stood moments before. "Another deer walking past us?"
"Well, he is making his way around us, probably trying his best not to be seen."
"He is doing very well, then. James, are you sure other people are going to be here? I think I would feel better if there were actually other people with us."
"They will come and then you will wish we had more time alone. Just relax and enjoy."
Margo decided she had denied her body long enough. She walked to where James had set up the makeshift bathroom. She finished and began walking back towards the camp. There was a sound beside her. The bushes moved a little and she stopped to see if a deer would actually walk past her. As she watched and listened, she heard a sound. She wanted to run or scream but found herself frozen with curiosity and fear. She could hear a sound coming from the trees. At first she thought it was the wind blowing through the leaves. As she leaned in to listen closer, her heart skipped a beat. The sound of in taking and exhaling of air was unmistakable. The bushes stopped moving as if something had reached out and steadied them. A low growl came from the bushes. She swore she could hear the sound of low laughter coming from the bushes. Margo began to step backwards and tripped over a branch. Falling to the ground, she tried to crawl away. Again, she felt the same touch she had earlier thought was a bug brush her heal. She screamed, stood up and began to run. She had only run a short distance when she ran into James' arms. He had heard her scream.
"I want to go home James! I hate it out here!"
"What happened back there?! What made you scream like that?!"
"Deer do NOT laugh! They do Not touch you, James! Not the deer I know!" She told him what she had seen and heard. She didn't want to hear his explanation... she wanted to leave.
"Margo, it could have been anything back there. You have scared yourself so badly that everything appears bad now."
"It wasn't anything, James! It was.. it was like human or something! I am sorry but I want to go home!"
"Alright darling, what about this? If we don't see anyone showing up in the next hour or so, we will leave. We can go to a place less remote if you like. In an hour, we will still have plenty of light to drive out of here."
"One hour, James. One freaking hour and then I will drive that truck out of here, with or without you! I swear I will! I am putting some of my stuff back in the truck so we can go when the hour is up! If someone shows up, I will unload it."
He knew there was no talking her out of anything right now. He nodded and began to gather her things together. They walked together to the truck. As she was loading her things she heard James swear.
"What is wrong now?"
"A flat. A flat tire on this side. I am going to have to change it now."
As he spoke, a chill ran down Margo's spine. She felt sick to her stomach as she stared at the truck.
"James" she said in almost a whisper. "James, come here please."
He walked around to her side of the truck. He stared down at the place she was looking. The front of the truck sat low to the ground. The tire matched the flat on the back of the truck. The trees moved behind them. This time James also turned in a start. There was an odor coming from the trees. It smelled like dirty laundry. James could feel himself becoming nervous now. The smell was gone as quickly as it had come. The trees closer to the campsite moved and then stopped.
"That was not a freaking deer, James. We are leaving now!"
"With two flat tires, Margo?! How would you like us to do that?!"
"I don't care. Drive on them until we are out of this place. You can fix them when we get out of here. Please James, just get us out of here." Her tears made him even more nervous.
"Alright, let me go get the rest of the stuff. You get in and lock the doors. It will only take me a minute."
"Just leave it! Some other camper can have it!"
"Five hundred dollars worth of equipment?! You want me to just leave it here?!" James hated himself for raising his voice to Margo. It was just something he never did. She cried harder now. "Five minutes, Love, that's it."
As he walked towards the camp, Margo watched him disappear into the stand of trees. She heard a sound from the behind the truck. A knock on her window sent her into a screaming frenzy. James heard her screaming and ran back towards her. The truck shook from side to side as Margo tried to get out the drivers side door. Pushing buttons, she heard the door-locks go up. Her heart pounded as she tried to lock them again. As she heard her door opening, she screamed one last time and then everything went dark for her.

Friday, May 8, 2009

What Makes You Scream.

"Barbaric... that's what you are! I have never met a more selfish animal in my life!"
The winter had been long and Margo was testy. James did not help the situation at all. She loved him, that much was for certain, but sometimes she really did Not Like him. After 18 years together she had hoped a little bit of her ways would have rubbed off on him. Still, he did have that smile that said "come here" and she knew she would not be angry with him for long. The problem was... He knew it too.
"Now listen Margo, sweetheart, ba-a-a-a-abydoll," and he smiled. "I know that it seems like I am always doing what I want but really, will it be so bad spending some very "alone time" with me in the forest? We can just be ourselves and enjoy nature at it's best. Ple-e-e-ase."
There were those eyes again. They were the bluest blue and they sparkle when he was being devilish. Between that and his smile, she was unable to say no to him. He kissed her tenderly and she decided she would be mad at him later. James smiled at her and stepped back a bit. He smiled at what he saw. She was perhaps the most beautiful lady in the world, he thought. Her emerald green eyes and thick, full auburn hair had grabbed enchanted him from the first time he had seen her. He was in love with her from the very first hello. Her tall slender body, 5'9", tall for a lady, made everything she wore look like it was molded to her body. The only thing that made it better was a pair of tight blue jeans and a T-top. He winked at her and went to finish packing for the trip. Two hours later they were ready to go.
As they drove away, James began laughing. "Did I miss something, sir?"
"Do I dare ask why you needed two backpacks for the trip? We are supposed to be roughing it, remember?"
"I realize that you can wear the same stuff and not worry about it but we might decide to eat in town one night and so i brought clothes for that in case. I also have a lot of "girly" stuff, as you call it that are essential to my daily needs. I also tossed in several food items in case you don't deliver on the meals."
James shook his head and smiled at her. "I knew better than to ask."
The trip took nearly 4 hours, half of which Margo spent sleeping against the window. When they turned off the highway, the rough gravel roads woke her. She looked out the window and sighed. She was determined to try and enjoy the trip as much as she could. James was a good man and he worked long, hard hours to provide the good life they lived. She smiled at him and touched his arm.
"Well Grizzly Adams, it looks like we are there, huh?"
"Almost Love. We will be about 4 miles back in the woods once we get to where I want to camp. Very rare to see other humans there and that means we can do what we want, when we want to."
"It does sound perfect and with your hours lately, it will be nice to catch up on some of the extra-curricular activities we have missed for a while."
"Not to worry, Love. You will enjoy me and my activities." They both laughed at his words.
A mile away from the campsite, James saw a Forest Ranger standing in the road. he was waving his arms for them to stop. James pulled the truck over and rolled his window down. The Ranger walked to the window.
"How are you doing today?"
"Did you two miss the sign a few miles back?"
"I didn't see a sign anywhere on the road. Is there anything wrong?" James just looked at him and waited to be answered.
"We have a situation we are trying to resolve."
Margo leaned down to look out of James' window. "What kind of situation, Sir?"
"We have a family that is missing and we are doing a search. You didn't see anyone on the way here, did you?"
"No we didn't pass anyone." James was waiting for the "Sorry, you will need to turn around" statement.
"Well, I am going to let you pass but if you see anyone wandering, send them our way." The Ranger stepped aside and let them through.
"I hope they find them soon and that they are alright."
"I am sure they just got turned around out here. It is easy to do. We can keep a watch out anyways."
Arriving at the campsite, they got set up and James started a camp-fire. They settled in and were enjoying the beauty of the surroundings. The trees were full and the smell in the air was fresh and pleasant.
"Can I ask a question here? Where exactly do I use the bathroom?"
James laughed out loud. "Nature provisions aren't good enough?"
"Barbaric! I am saying it again, James Malloy! I am not relieving myself behind a bush!"
Still laughing, he pulled out a port-a-potty and set it near some brush. "There, My Lady, is your throne. Feel free to use it anytime."
"Oh God," is all she could mutter.
As she walked past a small stand of trees,she swore the leaves moved before she touched them. She stopped and looked at it. Whatever it was seemed to have left or stopped moving. She walked past the trees without looking back again.
The eyes watched her closely. They followed her every move. Moving slowly, crawling on it's hands and knees, the unseen visitor stopped moving only when Margo did. As she stood near an opening in the trees, an arm slipped out of the brush. The long fingertips reached out and touched her heal. She slapped at it, thinking it was a bug. She screamed a little and the arm slid back into the cover of the brush. James came over to see what made Margo scream.
"Bugs... that is why I screamed, Davy Crockett! God, I hate bugs!"
James laughed and put his arm around her. "Come on, City Girl, let's go eat."
The movement in the trees behind them went un-noticed. The eyes continued to watch their every move.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Perception... A word that means a learning. Your idea or thoughts of something you have seen or experienced gives you perception. Life often teaches us new things along the way. And, sometimes it teaches us old things in a new way. It takes a few times for us to learn sometimes...and well, often, we don't ever learn.
Recently, I encountered an issue I had not dealt with in some time. Years actually. I had an abscess that needed to be taken care of. I have been on Coumadin for over 10 years. Reason? I have had 3 Pulmonary Embolisms, one of which was so bad it nearly took me out of this world. To survive 3 of them is a Miracle in truth. To survive a "saddle" clot is very, very rare. The clot settles in the center of your chest and blocks air to Both lungs. Survival of this embolism for me was totally God. The Doctors could do nothing but hope the medicine did it's job and quickly.
Why am I telling you this? One week ago, I had to come off of my coumadin. I needed my blood to thicken so I would not bleed to death after the tooth extraction. It is terribly frightening to be off the only thing that protects me from another pulmonary embolism.5 days was never, ever so long. I went back on the coumadin immediately after the extraction. 3 days later I felt terrible pain in my right leg. An ALL to Familiar pain that told me there was a clot in my leg. I went to my Doctor and they verified by doing a Doppler that there was indeed a clot in my right leg. I was immediately given Lovanox shots and the doctor doubled my dose of coumadine.I needed my blood thinned quickly in an effort to rid my leg of the clot. Also, in the event that the clot should move, hopefully it would be small enough to pass through my lung with out to much damage. Now, it is merely a waiting game. The meds and God are working round the lock to shrink the clot.
Knowing these are killers, I began to watch myself and how I reacted to events going on around me. I took note of how I spoke to people. The clot could move and it could take my life. There before me though was the very means to see heaven. That bipolar moment when I want to go but want to stay. It is a terrible thing to have such contrasting thoughts and to have to deal with them each and every day. To want to go to heaven to be with your loved ones but not want to leave those that are still here. The fears of going battling the desire to stay can be more torment to the mind that you could imagine.
And all of this has to do with perception, why???? I learned some things over the past few days. Something I have always known but needed a little kick in the Butt to see straight again. What I now perceive to be truth is this. I have little to no say in the grand scheme of things. God, in my life, watching over me makes the decision, not me. he decides when I leave this world. He decides what is best for me. I would not die unless he allowed it to happen. I thought about how I had been the past few days. Worry will give you an attitude that is topped by very litte, if anything at all. I was snappy and scared. And I realized that perhaps I had not been contributing enough to the friendly side of me. I was yelling at kids when it hit me. A voice said{LOL Not those voices} to me "What if this is your last few minutes on earth? If you died today, where would your heart be? What would you say to God when you got to the Gates of Heaven? IT truly made me sit down and think things over. What could I do, CAN I do to change things in my life so that I don't place myself in a bad situation Again? I felt the stress as I was yelling. I felt something inside of me saying "Calm down and relax." "Let It go and settle your own self." I walked away and Cried. I cried for fear of leaving this world. I cried for staying. I cried for the recipient of my wrath. My perception of this was that should it be my last moments on Earth, what is the last thing or last words I want someone to see or hear? There would be no chance to take it back. There would be no time to say "I am so sorry for my words." Your last moments with the ones you love so very much would be a yelling voice. Not a good way to go out.
I decided that I will live every day, as the song says, like it was my last day on earth. I will hug the girls a few extra times each day. I will walk in the forest and take in God's beauty. I will tell someone that they matter so much to me every day.I will praise God for allowing me to stay another time. I will tell all of you reading this that we are sisters and brothers and that I care about you and want Only good things for you.My life has been spared once again and I am giving thanks and praise to God for his life-saving touch. And I will smile at people when they walk past me. It could be someone that could be a friend to you.
Life is short and it can be cut shorter in an instant.Let your last moment be a good moment. Enjoy life and laugh a lot. {{Perception:to grasp mentally;take note (of); observe and to become aware (of) through one of the senses, esp. through sight.}} I have grasped again that there is NO promise of a tomorrow... only the promise of eternal life in Heaven. Live it well, you only get one time.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Loving a bipolar person...

Bipolar... A disorder that is caused by an imbalance in the brain. I guess I could go deeper into it but the definition in full is here for you to have a look at if you like. But in truth, this weekend I was approached by a friend with a question. A question concerning a young lady he was falling in love with. So what is the problem with that? They get along well, she is beautiful, he is a nice looking young man and they are both doing well. Sounded perfect to me. I asked him what I was missing.
She, the love of his life is, well to say the least, VERY bipolar. "And?" I said. Then he began to explain things to me. She is sometimes so far away in her thoughts that he can not reach her. She wanders off aimlessly, not having a clue as to what she wants nor what she is looking for. In restaurants, she sits sometimes, seemingly for a lifetime, staring at the menu. Now and then she glances over the top and with a red face, smiles at him. She cuddles next to him on the couch as they watch a movie. She plays a bit with him and laughs. He of course follows her lead and the next thing you know, they have forgotten the movie is even on. {Nothing wrong with that of course.} Suddenly, as if by some unseen force, she pushes him away and begins to watch the movie again. {{So, she changed her mind... that happens to us all.} She then gets up from the couch and goes out to the kitchen. He waits for her to return but after a few minutes, he wonders what is keeping her. He finds her in the kitchen, staring out the window. When she turns to look at him, tears are in her eyes and he knows, the night has just begun for them.
I listened to him and felt every word he said to me. He spoke of his fears and wondered if a person really can or even should start up a serious relationship with someone that is Bipolar. I had to really take a moment to think my answer through. His pain was obvious and he simply stood there shaking his head. There were other things he spoke of like her suddenly becoming angry and yelling about truly, nothing. He loved her so much but sometimes wondered if he was taking on more than he could handle.
I asked him,"Do you love her with all of your heart?" Of course he does but sometimes, she is almost emotionless and other times, she can not seem to get enough of him or of their love-making. How was he to deal with it all? My answer was simple to that question. LOVE HER... love her with tenderness and compassion and spirit. Love her in her bad times and good times. Try and understand that she can do little to change the way she is. If she could, perhaps she would. I told him that if she found a "safe place" with him, she would love him for the rest of their lives. I also told him that yes, she would be High Maintenance. She would require space and time and that to try and deny her such things, she might simply leave. I explained a little more about her being bipolar and told him a few things he might do to help her when her "moods" swept through.
Let her know you are always there for her but do not smother her. Walk with her slowly when she needs to walk slow and run like it is his last day on earth when she wants to run. Nothing he told me of her was anything that I do not deal with every minute of my life. Living with a loved one that is Bipolar is no doubt a challenge at times. There will be times when you wonder if they even care you exist. Days that they will want to be alone or will cry for no apparent reason and to touch her/him might be something that he/she will not allow. Encourage her and show her that the way she is doesn't change the way he feels. When she is in a Low, let her try and settle it in her own mind. When she cries, let her cry. It doesn't mean he did anything wrong and chances are, she couldn't give him a reason why she was crying if he asked her. When she can not seem to make a choice from a menu, talk to her and remind of of things she orders a lot. She will then feel at ease and choose something.
Above all else, never let her feel like an oddity or as if she were too much. She will find that "safety" in him and though neither may ever know why some things happen, to walk beside her through the highs and the lows is the greatest show of love he could give to her. Don't get angry with her when her moods swing fiercely from high to low and back to high again in just a few minutes. If she is with him, then she trusts him and loves him as much as her mind will allow her to. Living with someone that is Bipolar is not a walk in the park. But... life can be awesome and life can be beautiful for them both. Simply take it one moment at a time because that is how her life happens daily. The rewards can be great and the love, splendid. I think they will do fine...

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