Friday, February 5, 2010

The Half-lings...

He drove for what seemed liked hours. The rain was relentless and his eyes grew weary. The constant slapping sound of the windshield wipers echoed in his head and tried to lure him to sleep. The trees sagged from the weight of the soaking rain fall. They looked like old men, backs bent and touching the ground at times. He drove past a golf course, that's only occupants were four deer, standing drenched in the cold. Steam rose from their backs as the rain covered them, though it seemed to go un-noticed by the deer herd. Michael rubbed his eyes and rolled his window down. The rain and cold felt good on his face and arm and did what he wanted it to do. The rain woke him and he sat straight in the seat and tried to focus on the road. What was behind him needed to stay there. If it caught up with him again, Michael was sure it would kill him. It's very presence was enough to do that. Michael needed to re-gain his strength before he had to do battle again. The wounds would heal themselves, sure enough. It wasn't those injuries that bothered him. It was the wounds that had sliced into his soul and stripped him of part of his powers. Which powers he had lost, he wasn't yet certain of. How long they were gone for was any ones guess. Michael did not have the grace to second guess anything right now.
She sat near the entrance to the valley. Tree covered, the way in was nearly impossible to see unless you knew what you were looking for. She licked at her cuts and watched them close with each touch of her tongue. She winced in pain at the deeper cuts. Her fur was a tangled mess and she hoped to have it all in place when the change came. When had he gained so much strength? The man Michael could never have come so close to defeating her in the past. She hated him for reasons she was no longer sure of. Leandra had come from a long line of She-cats. Her mother and the others had slowly but surely gained dominance over the males in the pride. Rearing their daughters to be killers was only one part of their training. Hating the males and slowly killing the strong ones was a bigger challenge. A challenge they had finally won. Now the males hunted and watched over the young as her mother and aunts had once done.
Michael pulled into a rest area that had a shower. He washed the mud from his body and thought about the man that had once owned the vehicle he was driving. He had not meant to hurt him. He merely needed the vehicle to get away from Leandra and her pride. If he had waited until he had fully turned, perhaps he would not have been so vicious with the man. He may have felt some human compassion and allowed him to live. None of that really mattered now. What was done, was done. he had to survive and to have waited longer would have left him vulnerable and probably dead now. Alone, he would have killed Leandra. The strength of her whole pride had been too much for him. Michael knew inside that it was not the pride that had caused him to nearly die. He knew that he had held back from releasing his full power on Leandra. He was completely aware of Why he had done so. That knowledge angered him. He lashed out at the shower stall with his hands. As the shower stall wall shredded into slivers and fell to the floor, Michael cursed under his breath. Hearing a voice behind him, Michael felt his body responding to what could be an enemy. Teeth sharpened and lengthened. His hands stretched and his nails became like steel.
"Put them away, Michael. I do not wish to be the recipient of the talons."
Michael turned and looked into the face of his brother, Jordan. He wasn't sure how he felt about seeing him here.
"How did you find me, brother? I left you many miles away!"
Jordan could feel the anger in Michael. He stepped back and a shudder went up and down his spine. He knew that Michael could kill him with just a single lashing out of his hand. Jordan wondered if it had been a mistake following his older brother here.
"Please Michael, I do not want to fight and I want to die even less."
"Why did you come here, Jordan? I should kill you just because you left the caves. You took a huge chance that you could have been followed."
"I wasn't, Brother. I swear."
"And if you had been, we would both be dead right now. I do not have the strength for another battle at this time. Tell me now why you are here?!?!"
"We were attacked in the night, while you were away."
"Attacked??? Attacked by what?!?!?!?"
"Humans , Michael. They found us and came at us with every weapon they could find. We lost five of our pride. I used what powers I had to keep those that died from changing. The humans did Not get the proof they sought to prove we were half man."
"Did they say anything during the attack?"
"The last we killed said there would be more. He said the cats would be the next to die."
Michael looked at Jordan, his eyes softening a bit and his teeth receding. His thoughts raced to Leandra and he felt his heart race. He could not let his brother see his reaction.
"Then this is a battle for all halflings. We will find a way to defeat the weaklings together!"
"She-cats and Man-Beasts fighting side by side, Brother!? You must have been injured far worse than it appears."
Michael's growl and the quickness of his bite told Jordan he had stepped where he was not allowed. One bite from Michael's powerful jaws was enough to tell Jordan to say no more. He would be healing from this bite for a long time.
"Get in the car, Jordan! We have far to drive..."

Just my thoughts

Sitting here today, listening to music, knowing my low is settling on for the long haul. My mind travels in all directions as Elvis sings to me "And I Love you So." The words take me to a million years ago, it seems. To my first love and through out life, all the places I have been, the things I have done. Sometimes, when a person is down inside, they seek out those things that have brought joy and contentment to their lives. The past and present and sometimes if one dares to dream, the future. Remembering a time before the Bipolar and tourettes shoved the simple life aside and changed my world. Things that seemed so easy became nearly impossible to grasp. Anyone that is bipolar, depressed or simply feeling as if they are not connected to the world or anyone around them knows the feelings I write about here.
A heart that seeks so many things. To find acceptance for who he is. To find where it is he belongs in this crazy world. A place that everyone feels the same and so there is no need to say "Please don't judge me or tell me to "fix it." Seeking a chance to go back and do things right but knowing nothing done can be undone once time has gone by. To walk with out wondering how many eyes are watching you or if you have made some movement or twitched without realizing you did and someone saw it. Not wanting to have to explain it all. The need and desire to find a place that is hidden to slip into when I need too. Wanting to back time up a bit and reach out for something beautiful and hold on to it tightly. So tight that it is still with you when you reach the place you had just been.
I look around me and I see a "support team" that is so good and so understanding. I click or twitch and they simply go on about their business. I really should be quite content but my mind wont allow that. I have never forgotten one single incident in my life. The good and the bad.The thoughts have inter-acted with one another and gives to me a vast imagination to write. This once again is the world of a bipolar person. Abstract, confusion and fear that I have or will hurt someone and that tears me apart because it is NEVER EVER meant. I think there are many that know exactly where it is that I am right now. ..................

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