Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Just feeling the Love...

How do you know you are loved? Is it by a word spoken to you from someone you are close with? What causes you to stop for a moment and smile a bit, perhaps even cry just a tiny bit and feel loved?
Yesterday I had a little episode. Well let me go back a week or so. I have gained weight over the winter. Weight that I don't need at 50 years old. hell, I didn't need it at 30 to be honest, but back in the day... I could shave off 20 lbs with little effort at all. Today, not so much! I decided to follow my youngest daughters lead and diet. She chose a diet I was familiar with. It is a cabbage diet and all you eat is cabbage soup for days and weeks. So determined am I too lose this weight, I went for it all. Now I am on several medications daily. The list contains pills such as Coumadine {I have had 3 Pulmonary Embolisms i.e. Blood Clots on my lungs, one that nearly took me out of this world.} I take Lisinopril for my blood pressure and omeprazole for my tummy. I also take Nuerotin for my Restless Leg Syndrome and Pottasium, and a few others. Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!
Apparently, a cabbage diet doesn't set well with so many meds, etc... I ended up in the ER last night, sure I might not survive. We had been at a gas station and went in to get a coffee.Before i was able to finish paying, I became terribly dizzy. A dizziness i had never in my life felt. I hated the feeling!!!! I was without any control and just wanted to get outside to some air. The air helped a little but not enough. My family took me to the ER and I did not fight it at all. To make this not quite so long, I was checked out and given an EKG. Blood tests were ran also.It turned out to be that I was starving myself so it left me malnutritioned. It also effected my blood sugars, my INR{a measure of how thin my blood is.} My INR was climbing and my blood thinning because of the lack of good food going into me. My Potassium was way out of whack along with a few other issues. After 4 hours of taking in liquids and all the tests I was feeling better and was sent home. I was warned this could have messed me up very badly. Worse than it had!,
I tell you all of this because many times, it is when we Need to know we are loved, when we need to feel we are worthy of someones love that we find it. I watched from my bed in ER as a man, a huge man that had been and still remains not only my Father, but also a best friend for as long as I can remember, sat crying from worry. The love shared between my Father and I may go unspoken sometimes but it is never unfelt. Looking at his face, seeing the worry and the love, I KNEW I was loved. Seeing my loved ones rally around me screamed out so much Love to me and to my heart.
My youngest sister called me today just to see how I was. I felt so very loved by that act of caring and again, I felt loved, so very much loved. Then, at 10 o'clock tonight, the phone rings. It is my niece, Becca... She called to see that I was ok and to let me know she was thinking about me. That is what this write is about. It is about the knowing in my heart just how loved I am. Her call touched me and brought teares to my eyes. The act of care and concern was exactly what I needed just when I did needed it.
Each act of love and kindness only serves to make one feel so very loved. I always say be kind to ANYONE you may meet. You never know what battle they are fighting inside. Your one act of caring could be the very thing that caused a person to decide to stay or go, smile or frown, live or not live. I guess i am just saying THANK YOU to those that have touched my heart and my soul simply by caring and loving me. Sometimes God sends us Angels and we embrace the gift that is from Our Father God In Heaven... Always, Darrel...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just want to say I'm glad you're OK and I love you too. Love Faye

Darrel said...

thank you so much for this sweet lady. it means so very much to me. Hugs and i hope we can talk soon. i miss you all very much. xxx Always, Darrel

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