The Half-lings Pt 6

She watched from the darkness of the trees. The killing was brutal and she wondered if she had made a terrible mistake following Leandra into the forest. Lori felt her body freeze up and she could not make herself move. One by one, the She-cats fell to the ground. The humans were extinguishing them faster than Lori could count. She wanted to help them but she was too scared to leave the hidden place she had found. What would the She-cats do if they found her? She even worried what might happen to her if another human saw her. They might mistake her for a cat that had not changed yet and kill her. That was frighteningly possible.
Suddenly, she was face to face with her biggest fear. The She-cat stared at her and showed it's fangs. The stance told Lori she was about to become very dead. Her thoughts raced to Leandra. She closed her eyes tight and called to her. She begged her with her mind to save her. The She-cat suddenly relaxed it's stance. Lori heard it speak to her in her mind.
"How is it you know our leader? Speak fast before I kill you!"
"She is my best friend. We have known each other since first grade. I know what she is... what You are. I followed her here in homes to help her but I am of no use against this horrific massacre of your pride. Forgive, but I do not know how to help you."
The She-cat softened her stare. She felt no danger from this human. "Stay where you are and you may live. Do not try to help us or you may find yourself very dead."
As the She-cat turned to leave, another shot rang out. Lori screamed as the cats left side exploded in sprays of blood and entrails. The She-cats insides covered Lori and all she could do was scream.
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Michael raced through the forest, following Leandra's sceams. He tried to focus but Deanna had taken that ability from him. How could this man that wanted Michael dead be his father? What formula had he found to make him only human? If Michael killed him, he would possibly never know the answer. And if he didn't kill him... this man was determined to kill Michael. He stopped near a small clearing. He could hear Leandra's growl. He could see a man approaching the clearing. The man stopped and raised his rifle.
"I have you now, you She-bitch! I already took care of your mother."
Not being able to see Leandra but knowing she was there, Michael burst into the opening, surprising the man. He grabbed the man with his huge hands and tossed him into a huge Pine. The sound of the man's back snapping told Michael he would need to do no more to him. He ran to Leandra and knelt beside her. He could see the steel trap clamped tight around her back paw.
"Don't move Leandra. I will free you and get you to safety."
Leandra touched a paw to Michael's face. She screamed out as the trap was opened and blood-flow returned to her paw. The pain was excruciating and she felt as if she might faint.
"Stay with me, Love," Michael whispered to her. "I will not lose you to these creatures that call themselves Humans! I have loved you for a thousand lifetimes and I will not let you slip away from me now."
"I have always loved you Michael. Together we will defeat these men. HE said he killed my mother, Michael. I must find her and see that she is alright."
Michael tied a cloth around her paw. He knew she would heal fast. He picked her up in his behemoth arms. As he gently laid his head on her soft fur, he whispered softly in her ear. "She is gone, sweetheart. She died in my arms. I am so sorry I could not save her."
"Did she say anything to you before she died, Michael?"
"She told me to take care of you. And, she told me that the leader of these men... is my father."
"Oh my God, Michael! What are you going to do?"
"I am going to do what your mother said, Leandra. I am going to kill him."
Michael carried Leandra to a cave deep in the forest. He placed her on a high slate shelf. "You will be safe here until you heal."
"No Michael, I want to fight at your side." Leandra had changed to her human form now. The healing would be easier for her. Michael looked at her as she lay on the rock. Her emerald eyes and golden hair made him think of a fairy-tale princess. He was so very in love with her and he wanted only to have her forever.
"You will fight beside me, Love, but not until you are healed. Stay here until I come back to you."
"MIchael, you Will come back for me, won't you?"
"I promise you, Leandra. Only death could keep me away from you now."
"Then stay alive, Michael. I want forever with you."
Michael touched her face, his huge rough hands, gentle and soft on her skin, told her he would love her forever. In an instant, Michael was back in the forest. He followed the sounds of the gun-fire and screams. Three men died while he trekked though the trees. It was quick and nearly painless for them, he thought. He stopped another man from Killing a She-cat by tossing him over a small cliff, into the river below them. As he stood to sniff the air for the man he sought, he felt a stabbing pain in his shoulder. His growl could be heard through out the forest. Turning to face his attacker, it was not the man he was seeking. This man was not his father.
"I will be the Hero when I bring your ugly carcass back to Michalie. How proud he will be of me when he sees i have killed his freak off-spring."
"Too bad you won't be telling him that story, you murderer!"
Michael knew the voice behind the threat. Leandra had been friends with her all through school. Michael looked at Lori, her small frame dwarfed against the man that would kill Michael. Before the man could get turned to see his attacker, he heard the shots ring out. His body jerked to the left and then to the right side before falling to the ground. He never saw who had ended his boasting forever.
Michael ran to Lori. Her body nearly disappeared when his arms wrapped around her.
"Easy big boy, I am not as big as you."
Michael released his hold on Lori. "What are you doing here? You should not have come here."
"Oh, you think? I know that now but it is a little late. Tell me where Leandra is. She is alive, isn't she?"
"She is wounded but safe. I will take you there to hide you and perhaps you can help here to heal. There is No talk of this. It is just the way it is to be."
The tree's behind Michael suddenly splintered. He wrapped himself around Lori to protect her. Standing in front of him now was the survivors of his clan. They were armed with guns taken from humans and tree's that they had uprooted to use as weapons. Michael approached the front beast.
"How did you get here so quickly, Antony? I left you far away so you would be safe."
"We healed and knew where you had come. We could not let you have all the fun."
The trees rustled a bit again. The remaining She-cats now stood with them. Calamine, the leader if Leandra were killed stepped forward.
"We also do not wish to live our lives out being told how the Beast-men saved our butts. We fight together, as one pride, until this is finished. It is what Deanna wanted, she simply did not know how to make it so. I can still feel Leandra so I know she is alive."
"I hid her where I am going to hide her human friend. Then, as one, we will end this witch hunt forever."
The group roared and growled in unison. There sound echoed through the jungle. The men hunting them cowered for a moment. They knew now that the real battle was about to begin.
"I will be back in a moment and then we kill the humans. Remember this though! The human, Michalie is Mine!!!! If you find him, bring him to me alive!" Michael lowered his head as he spoke now.
"That man... is My Father and it is I that must kill him. Enough said now. Go, find a place to attack unseen. I will join you in a moment!" With those words spoken, Michael and Lori disappeared into the forest. The final battle was about to begin.

Half-lings Pt 5

Leandra and her pride watched as Michael transformed from a man to a huge Man-beast. His long talons and teeth alone sent waves of fear through all of them. Each one knew that this Man-beast could kill them without much effort at all. They watched Leandra as she changed into a She-cat. Her fangs and destructively long talons also had the ability to kill any of them. They were depending on her to end the battle between the cats and man-beasts. To sit and allow one to change before they could kill him was something they had never imagined witnessing in their lives.
"Leandra, he will recover quickly," her mother whispered to her. "If any of the cats realize that you love this beast, or the man inside of him, they will turn on you. You must not say a word to anyone concerning this issue, daughter. And sweetheart, I Do understand more than you might know of the frustrations that go with loving a human."
Leandra nodded and then she returned to Michael. She felt Michael stirring under her touch. He awoke to stare right into Leandra's eyes. He felt his entire being respond to her look and he fought back the urge to take her in his arms and hold her. He was glad he felt no desire to harm her. He stood and looked around him.
"Normally, I would say this was my worst nightmare come to live. Under the circumstances, I am grateful that we might fight side by side in a mutual agreement to drive those that would kill us, away. They Will come tonight! They have already begun their killing spree and they will be here sooner than we wish."
"They have weapons and we nothing to battle them with."
"You have your smarts, you can fight with a fury only those of us that can change could know. We must be ready to give our last breath to the enemy if that is what it takes to defeat the humans."
"I am with Michael. We Must stand and fight if we are going to survive as a species."
"Ok Michael. Tell us what we need to do to defeat them. We will follow you unless it appears you are Not fighting to save us also!"
"Wait! I have a question? Where is the rest of your clan? Why are you the only one fighting?"
Michael turned to look at Deanna just as she was changing. She was larger than most of the She-cats. Her breeding was a true breeding between her father and mother, both from a line that was much larger and vicious than most of the prides.
"I told you, Deanna, our clan was attacked and nearly wiped out. Those that did survive are not fit to fight. We must do this with out them."
Darkness had fallen now. The shadows that followed them through the trees left to question whether it was their own or those of the enemy. Leandra and Michael walked side by side. Now and then, he would gently reach down and touch her fur. She growled low, not an unfriendly growl at all. They found a place that allowed them to look out over the den and gave some cover to them. The moon was full and gave off nearly as much light as the Sun.
"We must stay low until we have the humans drawn in close enough to ambush them. If they see us first, their weapons could hurt enough of us to be costly.
There was a sound to the right of them. Behind them, there was another loud sound. Michael looked over at Leandra. His eyes said it all. Fur standing straight up, from head to tail told Michael that she understood.
"God Michael, they are all around us! What do we do!?!?"
"We stand and fight daughter!!!! You don't need a beast to tell us how to do that! Make a circle and do not let them penetrate the lines!!!
The others did as Deanna told them to do. Fifty She-cats stood in the circle, a site most men would run from if he had half a brain. These men did not care. They moved in slowly, deliberately, weapons readied. One of the humans spoke out loud.
"This is where it all ends for you freaks of nature! Tonight, under a moon-lit sky, we are sending you to where-ever it is that Cats go! The beasts are all dead! We took care of that earlier! One thought he was safe inside of a car with the doors locked! Funny thing is, humans don't need to get too close to the creatures. Just a little fire and well, fried beast-man is back on the menu!"
Leandra saw the look in Michael's eyes before she heard the words come from his mouth. He said his brother Jordan's name. The intensity of his words and the snarl that followed told Leandra that tonight, would not be a quiet night nor would it be a night void of blood. She reached out her paw to stop him but his strength was too much for her. He shoved her paw away and stepped forward.
"Tell me, before I kill all of you, I want to know what we did to you that has caused you to hate us so much that you are willing to die tonight!!!"
There was a silence in the air. Even the wind stopped blowing as if it wanted to hear every word spoken. "You are Freaks!!! You taint our blood and corrupt a good world! You take our men and women at will and make them your slaves! You are more disgusting than the witches of the East Coast! One of you killed my Grand-father long ago, just because he was human. No other reason!"
"We are not the ones that killed them! We stay to our own and bother none! You... you killed my brother and now I must avenge him! No more talk!"
"Wait! Who are you? I want to know who it is that I kill or kills me!"
"I would tell you to remember the name, Michael, but you will Not live long enough to care!"
The sound of high powered rifles resonated through out the forest. Screams of She-cats dieing could be heard all around the circle. Leandra jumped from the circle into the cover of the Forest. Michael turned to follow her. He felt claws dig deeply into his back, blood flowing freely from his gash. He turned to kill who-ever had attacked him but stopped as he looked into Deanna's eyes. She swayed from side to side as Michael reached out to catch her.
"Why? Why did you attack me???" Michael felt the warmth of blood on his arm. He lifted Deanna and knew. She was bleeding badly from two gunshot wounds. He could not save her.
"Michael, the man that seeks to kill you... I know him. He will not stop until you are dead."
"Why, Deanna? Why does he hate me so?!?!?!?"
"He was in love with your mother. She never told him what she was. He never told her. He was from a tribe of Beast-men that had found a cure to their beast side. He wanted a son that was pure blood. She gave him You! Kill him Michael. He will kill you if he can. Save my precious daughter."
Deanna paused and took in a deep breath. She had changed back to human form. Michael knew she was almost gone. He brushed the tears from her eyes. "Michael... love my daughter and take care of her. But first, kill... your... fath..."
Michael laid Deanna on the ground gently. Tears filled his beast-man eyes for the first time. And then, he heard Leandra scream out as another shot rang through the forest.
"No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, no!!!!," Michael cried out.

Half-lings Pt.4

Leandra finished her work and as she left, closed the door tight to her store. She had owned the exotic shop for 5 years. Through the shop, she was able to stay in contact with people that searched, more likely hunted her kind. They were drawn in by the animals she had that were nearly un-acquirable any where else in the world. It also gave her the opportunity to save animals that were to be sold and killed for their precious furs or other parts. Lori had helped her off and on for the past 3 years.
"So where are you going now?"
"My mother phoned me and said there was a problem at home. I need to get there before dark so that no one has changed. Though we communicate well as She-cats, we must communicate through our minds with a lot of the pride. Many are young and have not mastered the use of the vocals as cats."
"Leandra, please be careful. You are the only real friend I have and I don't want to lose you."
"I'll be fine Lori. You take care tonight and I will see you tomorrow."
Leandra could feel the coming of night-fall. Though she was fairly certain she would not hurt Lori, she did not ever want to find out she was wrong. She drove as fast as she could and wished she could change as she could move faster as a She-cat. No roads to follow and no speed limit to obey. She would be to the den in half the time as a She-cat.
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Michael stood his ground. Deanna seemed set in her decision. He knew he had to find some way to make her understand how much a threat the humans were. There wasn't much time left as he knew the humans would be back in full strength tonight.
"Deanna, please, hear me out. Some of my clan were killed last night, by humans. Those that survived were injured badly. They found us somehow and they know you exist too. I believe that the leak was through your pride."
Deanna snarled at Michael. She shook her head and clenched her fists.
"If I could turn right now, I would kill you for even saying that! My pride is loyal to me and I don't believe the words of a Beast-man, ever! Soon, my daughter will be here! When she comes, we will deal with you and then seek out the rest of your kind and kill them all!"
"Deanna, I don't understand. Leandra is from the same breeding as I am. You took a human to be your mate and the result was Leandra. Why do hate others like her?"
"You are Not like my daughter! She is a She-cat and you... you are nothing more than a dirty beast! Your kind would kill us or en-slave us if you could!"
"Deanna, the beast-men that wanted to take you as their personal slaves and breeders are gone. I am the one they follow now and they do Nothing unless I say to."
"Tell me why the humans want us all dead suddenly."
"They found out that we were living and working among them, with out them knowing. It scared them and angered them and now, they want us all dead. We were a fable, a wives tale before they found out. Now, we are real and they want us dead!"
"Their are millions of humans. We could not defeat them all even if we wanted to! They will just keep coming and..."
"No, you are wrong. The people that want to kill us are a private group. They do not talk to others and they cover our existence with lies. Killing us would never be spoken of outside their group."
"How is it you know so much about these people? Maybe you are the leak and you want us together so you can help the humans kill us."
"Deanna, if I was your problem, you would be dead right now." Michael's voice was soft but the tone was anything but gentle. Deanna knew he was probably right. Though she would give him a fight, Michael in his beast form was more than she and most of her pride could survive. She wished Leandra were here.
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Darkness was going to come way to soon for her. Her mother rarely bothered her at work unless it was serious. She wondered what could have happened in the short time she was gone. She drove until she reached the forest. Parking the car, she quickly existed the car. The desire to change was strong and she could feel her senses strong. She stopped to smell the air.
"Damn!!!!!!" She smelled once more to be sure she wasn't just smelling something that lingered on her. "Michael! He is here! What the hell does he want? God, if he has harmed my mother in any way, he will hate the fact he was even born!" She raced through the forest at speeds only a She-cat could find. The branches cut at her face and she growled and snapped at them as she ran. Finally, she reached the opening to her den. The first face she saw was Michael's. Without stopping, Leandra lunged at Michael. Her claws instinctively ripped through her skin and her teeth grew. She hit Michael with the force of a large Mountain Lion. Taking him by surprise, he tumbled to the ground as Leandra clawed at his face. Gashes opened from his skin and blood spewed over both of them.
"Change, Damn you!!!! Fight me or I swear to God, I Will kill you!!!"
Flipping her over on her back, even in human form, Micheal's strength almost too much for Leandra, he held her to the ground.
"I won't fight you, Lea!" He had called her Lea since they were children. Just at hearing the name from his voice, Leandra felt herself soften. It angered her that his voice alone could do that to her. She resisted the want to change to human.
"I am Not here to fight you, Leandra! I am here to ask for your help! Please, stop this and listen to me!!!" Blood ran from Michael's face and he knew he would need to change soon to heal. He did Not want to do that yet.
"Leandra... we must listen to what he has to say. Charlene just told me that two of our pride were found dead, In their human form! Someone is already starting to eliminate us."
Leandra began to change again. Her features soon that of a beautiful young woman again, Michael stared into her eyes. Did he see something there? Could she have feelings for him? Michael wanted to kiss her but he knew this was not the time. He could feel himself getting weaker from the blood loss. He saw Leandra begin to cry as she cradled his head in her arms. Leaning forward, she whispered to him.
"Tell us, Michael. What do we need to do?? Don't you die on me. Change, Michael!! Damn you, Change and save your life!!!" Her tears flowed over his face. Michael could feel his body changing. He closed his eyes tightly. Leandra heard his words as he changed.
"Please, please God, don't let me hurt her. I love her..."

Half-lings Pt. 3

The night would be upon him in a few hours. He needed to approach Leandra while she was still in human form. Even though he had the ability to change or not change when he wanted, Michael knew that the power of the man beast was strong. He would be busy battling the desire to change to be effective in his quest. The Forest suddenly engulfed him and he knew he was near the pride's home. He could sense their presence already and his instinct to change was strong. He breathed in deep and drove on.
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"What are you going to do, Leandra? You are in love with this man and yet your pride, your own Mother insists that you kill him. How can you do that?"
"We are stronger as She-cats and the purpose, the call for us is sometimes stronger than our human side can over-come. When I see him, he is just another Man-beast. It is my human side that wants to love him... That does love him. I simply have to let that go and become all She-cat to defeat him."
"Leandra, I have to ask this. If you saw me and you were a "Cat", would you kill me? Would you know it was me?"
"Lori, we are not savages! We can think and recognize those we know in our human form. If not, Michael would just be a beast and I would kill him without question."
"Then you wouldn't kill me?"
"I don't know, Lori. I have never had that happen to me. We stay at our den when we are She-cats. I hope that our bond is strong enough to keep me from harming you."
"Me too. We have been friends since first grade. When you first told me what you were, I thought you were lieing to me. I followed you one day from school and saw you go into the forest. I waited until it was dark and then I saw it for myself. I was only Ten years old and so I was upset because I couldn't do that. You smelled the air and found me. You didn't kill me then."
"I remember, Lori. I changed back and told you about my family. You are the only human that knows what I am. You have never betrayed my trust and I love you dearly for that."
"I will never betray you, Leandra. You are my very best friend."
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Michael saw the opening to where Leandra's pride lived. He growled low as he sniffed the air. He looked like a Coon Hound, on the trail of a fugitive. The smell of the She-cats was strong and he fought the urge to change. Jordan stirred in the back seat. His wounds nearly healed, he felt re-energized. He too could smell the cats. He knew he would not, could not change until dark. Then smell still made his mind whirl and left him dizzy for a moment.
Michael sensed his brothers urge to change. He too knew that Only himself could change at will.
"Jordan, you need to stay in the car. I want you to lock the doors when I get out. You are Not to get out no matter what you hear! Should Leandra change, she Will smell you and come to kill you. You do Not possess the strength to kill her nor fight her off! Stay where you are!"
"I have no desire to die today, Michael. I'll be here when you come back."
"One more thing, brother. If it turns dark and I have not returned, drive. Drive as fast and as far as you can and do Not come back. If I survive, I will find You!"
Michael left the car and heard the doors lock. He prayed that the car would be enough to keep Jordan safe. He walked deeper in to the woods, following the scent of the She-cats. He shook his head often, trying to fight off the want to change. He knew that to walk into their pride as a beast would bring on an instant battle. That was the last thing that he wanted. He was almost sure that Leandra was the only one with the ability to change at will like he could. He hoped that he was right. If not, this would be his last trip to their den.
The forest suddenly opened up in front of him. He was instantly surrounded by the human form of the She-cats. Hissing and growling was all Michael could hear. Several of the women lunged at him and took his arms in their hands. Michael could have tossed them all to the ground. Hos strength was still that of the Man-beast, even in human form. Michael resisted the want to change and went with them quietly. He was taken to the front of their den where he was greeted with a slap across his face. The slap stung his cheek and he felt his talons grow from his fingers tips. He retracted them and stared at the woman in front of him. He recognized her at once.
"Deanna, I come to you in peace. I do not want to fight you."
Deanna stepped forward. She took Michael's face in her hands. Her strength was extremely evident to Michael. As a human, facing her as a She-cat would be a fair fight. He stood still and looked directly in her eyes.
"Peace, Michael? Do you beasts even know what that word means? I should kill you right where you stand. It would save my daughter, who somehow has fallen in love with you, the trouble of killing you herself!" She released her grip on Michael's face.
"The battle would be violent and the end results may not be what you had anticipated. I spared your daughters life the last time we battled."
"Why did you do that, Michael? We are enemies. Your purpose is to kill us. Why would you not follow through?"
Michael looked at Deanna, His features softening. He looked at the other women with caution. His voice was soft calm when he spoke. "I spared Leandra because... because I am in love with her. I do not wish to kill her but rather to be her mate."
Deanna stepped back and her teeth grew. She snarled at Michael and her teeth showed. Michael took a step backwards and spoke again. "Be angry with me if you will, Deanna, but it will change nothing. We need to talk of other things. Things that could destroy both your people and mine as well. The humans are coming to kill us all. We must stand together as one pride if we are to defeat them."
"Never" was the answer given by Deanna. "I will not ever stand beside a man to fight! I don't care if he is human or a disgusting Man-beast."
"Then Deanna, you And your pride will all die at the hands of the humans. Think about it Deanna. Do you want to watch your daughter die!?!?"

The Half-lings Pt.2

She knew she had to return to her pride. It was nearing dawn and her life would totally change during the hours of light. Leandra had long ago learned how to change no matter what the time of day or night it was. She was the first of her generation to have the ability to do so. Her mother told her it was because she been with a human before Leandra was born. The mixed blood had given Leandra a special gift. She knew that Michael's mother must have done the same for he too could change at will, though not nearly as fast as she could. As she began the change, she wondered how many of the wounds would show today. Hearing her mother call out to her, she finished the change and went to her.
"Are you hanging your head, Daughter!?!?"
"Mother, I.."
"Stop, Leandra! I do not wish to hear any more of your reasons! This time, you nearly cost the life of one of your own, not forgetting that you were almost killed yourself!" Her mothers voice softened now. "Leandra, I know what is happening. I have been there myself. You must fight the desire and destroy him... before he destroys you. I love you daughter but the pride is becoming weary of your antics. You are an adult now and the strongest of all, save myself. If you were not, the pride would have run you away or worse."
"Mother, you are wrong! You Think you know my heart but you do Not!!"
Seeing her mother move at such speed took Leandra by surprise. In a single breath her mother was in front of her. Leandra watched in fear as her mothers featured went from a beautiful queen, to a Leopard with strength beyond mans imagination. Her claws extended she gently took Leandra's face between her paws and pulled her to her own face. The scent of a fresh kill was still on her mothers breath and Leandra licked her lips and fought Not to change again. Her mothers low growl was telling Leandra everything she needed to know. Deanna loved her daughter more than life itself but she knew she needed to bring reality to her daughters mind. Squeezing Leandra's head between her paws, her heart ripped in two as she listened to her daughter cry out.
"Mother please, it hurts me when you do that! Please stop!!" Leandra knew not to pull away. Her mother's claws would tear her human form to tiny shreds.
"This is Nothing, Daughter." Deanna's growl made Leandra try to turn her head away. "Stop moving Cub! You do Not need more wounds than what that Man-Beast has already given you! Do not chance to talk aggressive to me and do Not tell me what I know to be true is wrong! You have loved the man Michael since you were a child. HE does Not love you! He wants only to see you dead! You, and all of your pride. Hell daughter, he waits to see the end of your entire people! When next you see him, you must kill him before he kills you. I am powerless against him because he has both bloods in him. He has the old dominate male blood and in that, he has the strength to kill us all. All except you.
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Michael drove through the pouring rain. His site was not like a common mans. He saw through the rain as if it were a perfectly clear day. Jordan would sleep most of the drive. His wounds would only heal while he rested. By evening he would have 75% of his strength back. It would be enough to do some battle but never enough to win against a strong adversary. Michael would have to watch over Jordan until all of his strength had returned. Jordan was only part of the things going on for Michael. He knew that the humans would return to finish what they had started. He could not allow them to kill Leandra. His heart knew that as well as his mind did. He heard Jordan stirring in the back seat.
"Why are we going back to the very place that you and were nearly killed? It makes no sense to me at all. Tell me there is not something going on between you and the girl."
Michael stared at the road in front of him. He offered no answer and Jordan knew not to push the issue.
"If we do not find a way to come to terms with the Pride, the humans will hunt us down and destroy all of us. It is the Only way, Jordan. We can not run our entire life. If we can find a way to convince the humans we can co-exist, we can then be free to live our lives as we have for centuries."
"How might we do that Michael? We are beasts, remember?"
"Not always, Jordan. We do exist as humans also."
"Half-lings, Michael. We are called Half-lings, remember?" Michael growled low. He hated that word. "not all of us can change at will like you and the she-cat can. You are the only ones that have that power. My father was Not your father. I am like the others. The dark and night still rule my world."
"Yes, and it is for Your world that I go to the cats and seek their help. We must either change the minds of those that want to kill us or destroy them."
The sun would not be gone for many hours. Michael knew that there was no way to negotiate with the cats unless they were in their human forms. He needed to make it to their forest before the sun set.He pushed down on the gas pedal and wondered if what he was trying to do were even possible. He would not know the answer unless he asked.
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Leandra sat alone, looking at the scars on her arms and legs. She was grateful that the worst of them were covered by clothing. She would only have to answer for the purple around her left eye. Her human friends would no doubt think she had been abused by some man. She snickered to herself. She knew that in the strangest way, they would not be far from right. She needed the human contact and cursed herself for that. They were an enemy to be reckoned with. They had seen that before. She still had to figure out what she was to do about Michael. Her mother was of course correct. She had been in love with him for longer than she could recall. To kill him was something she knew in human form she could never do. And yet, she had a better chance to kill him that way than when she changed again. His strength had scared her earlier. Never had she known such power. Why had he not killed her? HE could have finished her and yet he stopped and allowed her to claw him so badly. Maybe, she thought, maybe he loved her too...
Leandra heard the sounds of her friends voices. They were screaming and yelling to her. "What happened to You!?!? Damn it, girl, don't you know how to just say No and get away from the creep that did this?"
Leandra smiled at Lori. She had been her best friend for most of her life. She was also the Only human that knew what Leandra really was. It was their secret and Lori had never betrayed her.
"It was a rough night, Lori. Don't even ask."
"Was it Michael?"
"No, Michael could have but he didn't. I am still wondering why he didn't."

The Half-lings...

He drove for what seemed liked hours. The rain was relentless and his eyes grew weary. The constant slapping sound of the windshield wipers echoed in his head and tried to lure him to sleep. The trees sagged from the weight of the soaking rain fall. They looked like old men, backs bent and touching the ground at times. He drove past a golf course, that's only occupants were four deer, standing drenched in the cold. Steam rose from their backs as the rain covered them, though it seemed to go un-noticed by the deer herd. Michael rubbed his eyes and rolled his window down. The rain and cold felt good on his face and arm and did what he wanted it to do. The rain woke him and he sat straight in the seat and tried to focus on the road. What was behind him needed to stay there. If it caught up with him again, Michael was sure it would kill him. It's very presence was enough to do that. Michael needed to re-gain his strength before he had to do battle again. The wounds would heal themselves, sure enough. It wasn't those injuries that bothered him. It was the wounds that had sliced into his soul and stripped him of part of his powers. Which powers he had lost, he wasn't yet certain of. How long they were gone for was any ones guess. Michael did not have the grace to second guess anything right now.
She sat near the entrance to the valley. Tree covered, the way in was nearly impossible to see unless you knew what you were looking for. She licked at her cuts and watched them close with each touch of her tongue. She winced in pain at the deeper cuts. Her fur was a tangled mess and she hoped to have it all in place when the change came. When had he gained so much strength? The man Michael could never have come so close to defeating her in the past. She hated him for reasons she was no longer sure of. Leandra had come from a long line of She-cats. Her mother and the others had slowly but surely gained dominance over the males in the pride. Rearing their daughters to be killers was only one part of their training. Hating the males and slowly killing the strong ones was a bigger challenge. A challenge they had finally won. Now the males hunted and watched over the young as her mother and aunts had once done.
Michael pulled into a rest area that had a shower. He washed the mud from his body and thought about the man that had once owned the vehicle he was driving. He had not meant to hurt him. He merely needed the vehicle to get away from Leandra and her pride. If he had waited until he had fully turned, perhaps he would not have been so vicious with the man. He may have felt some human compassion and allowed him to live. None of that really mattered now. What was done, was done. he had to survive and to have waited longer would have left him vulnerable and probably dead now. Alone, he would have killed Leandra. The strength of her whole pride had been too much for him. Michael knew inside that it was not the pride that had caused him to nearly die. He knew that he had held back from releasing his full power on Leandra. He was completely aware of Why he had done so. That knowledge angered him. He lashed out at the shower stall with his hands. As the shower stall wall shredded into slivers and fell to the floor, Michael cursed under his breath. Hearing a voice behind him, Michael felt his body responding to what could be an enemy. Teeth sharpened and lengthened. His hands stretched and his nails became like steel.
"Put them away, Michael. I do not wish to be the recipient of the talons."
Michael turned and looked into the face of his brother, Jordan. He wasn't sure how he felt about seeing him here.
"How did you find me, brother? I left you many miles away!"
Jordan could feel the anger in Michael. He stepped back and a shudder went up and down his spine. He knew that Michael could kill him with just a single lashing out of his hand. Jordan wondered if it had been a mistake following his older brother here.
"Please Michael, I do not want to fight and I want to die even less."
"Why did you come here, Jordan? I should kill you just because you left the caves. You took a huge chance that you could have been followed."
"I wasn't, Brother. I swear."
"And if you had been, we would both be dead right now. I do not have the strength for another battle at this time. Tell me now why you are here?!?!"
"We were attacked in the night, while you were away."
"Attacked??? Attacked by what?!?!?!?"
"Humans , Michael. They found us and came at us with every weapon they could find. We lost five of our pride. I used what powers I had to keep those that died from changing. The humans did Not get the proof they sought to prove we were half man."
"Did they say anything during the attack?"
"The last we killed said there would be more. He said the cats would be the next to die."
Michael looked at Jordan, his eyes softening a bit and his teeth receding. His thoughts raced to Leandra and he felt his heart race. He could not let his brother see his reaction.
"Then this is a battle for all halflings. We will find a way to defeat the weaklings together!"
"She-cats and Man-Beasts fighting side by side, Brother!? You must have been injured far worse than it appears."
Michael's growl and the quickness of his bite told Jordan he had stepped where he was not allowed. One bite from Michael's powerful jaws was enough to tell Jordan to say no more. He would be healing from this bite for a long time.
"Get in the car, Jordan! We have far to drive..."

Just my thoughts

Sitting here today, listening to music, knowing my low is settling on for the long haul. My mind travels in all directions as Elvis sings to me "And I Love you So." The words take me to a million years ago, it seems. To my first love and through out life, all the places I have been, the things I have done. Sometimes, when a person is down inside, they seek out those things that have brought joy and contentment to their lives. The past and present and sometimes if one dares to dream, the future. Remembering a time before the Bipolar and tourettes shoved the simple life aside and changed my world. Things that seemed so easy became nearly impossible to grasp. Anyone that is bipolar, depressed or simply feeling as if they are not connected to the world or anyone around them knows the feelings I write about here.
A heart that seeks so many things. To find acceptance for who he is. To find where it is he belongs in this crazy world. A place that everyone feels the same and so there is no need to say "Please don't judge me or tell me to "fix it." Seeking a chance to go back and do things right but knowing nothing done can be undone once time has gone by. To walk with out wondering how many eyes are watching you or if you have made some movement or twitched without realizing you did and someone saw it. Not wanting to have to explain it all. The need and desire to find a place that is hidden to slip into when I need too. Wanting to back time up a bit and reach out for something beautiful and hold on to it tightly. So tight that it is still with you when you reach the place you had just been.
I look around me and I see a "support team" that is so good and so understanding. I click or twitch and they simply go on about their business. I really should be quite content but my mind wont allow that. I have never forgotten one single incident in my life. The good and the bad.The thoughts have inter-acted with one another and gives to me a vast imagination to write. This once again is the world of a bipolar person. Abstract, confusion and fear that I have or will hurt someone and that tears me apart because it is NEVER EVER meant. I think there are many that know exactly where it is that I am right now. ..................

What is success and how do you know you found it????

How do you measure success? The definitions all point towards the achievement of a goal that one has set for themselves. They also mention becoming famous and/or rich, though I think that one may indeed go hand in hand today. I read and then re-read the definitions and try to find myself inside of it. The truth is... I am not sure that becoming rich nor famous is the ultimate height of being successful. I sometimes believe that success is being where you wanted to be right when you were there.
I have been called a success by some and yet I still fail to see that in myself. Having published novels and a CD produced with my own songs on it Should really spell out success. I am sure that it would and does for some people. For me, if it does not come with your name being in homes at the dinner table or recognized for your Achievements, then is it really success? Doesn't the word scream out for more than "accomplishments?"
I look at my life and think about all the places I have been and all that I have done. I managed to grow up without harming anyone physically. I made a lot of friends along the way and am remembered by many of them, some years after I myself had forgotten their names. I served my country in the Air force and married a beautiful woman. We waltzed through this world, adversaries and all, hand in hand and raised two beautiful daughters. We battled a disease that tried hard to take our freedom and our happiness away, but we won that battle. I served the Lord faithfully for many years and hopefully planted seeds in the hearts of some young people.
Sometimes, to see success, I look towards my father. I see all his children rally around him and seek his advice when life slaps them in the face. I watch his grand children look up at him with love and respect and think to myself... this is a measure of success. Though wealth was never his or my mothers, they have waltzed through this world together for almost 60 years. They still hold each others hand and their love for one another is without question. I wonder if perhaps success is something other than fame and money. It may be that the word truly means being remembered only because you are you.
If I sit and think about myself, perhaps I have seen success at times in my life and was so busy looking for the pay check that I missed it. It is said that history is destined to repeat itself and I wonder in my mind if I might be doing that. Am I so busy reaching for the fame and money side that I am missing the success that lies in front of me. I Have published novels and I Have produced a CD that will live on forever. I do have beautiful people in my life and have been blessed more than any man deserved to be. If all of this is true, then why do I still seek what I already have? What event or happening will it take before I am content to simply live my life out?
Abstract thoughts perhaps, but thoughts that bring out the question.. What is the true meaning of success? What personifies the word and how do we know that we have achieved it? Just rambling thoughts of a man that is caught in a world that is often to fast and too harsh for me to settle in my heart. "Being where I want to be when I am there." Hmmmmmm????

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Weighing Good versus Bad.

The weather outside is "Frightful" and I see nothing at all "delightful" about it. I took a walk this morning as the snow fell. It was a time to relax and reflect a bit on some things that have been on my mind. I began to wonder what really makes us worthy of friends and of good things in life. What says "You are a good man" or "You have found success in this world?" I pondered these questions, trying as hard as I could Not to allow this bipolar brain of mine to take over. I fight for my own true thoughts because I Know that within the Bipolar world that I live in most of the time, the only answers I will receive is "you are not a good man... you have Not found success." Why? Because that is what a bipolar mind does. It seeks out all the reasons you are not a good person.
SO, I thought about what things about This man... Me, that would cause me to over-ride my mind and allow me to see what others have told me they see in me. I have reached out to those less fortunate than me for as long as I can remember. Even as a young boy, I surrounded myself with young people that were other wise Not accepted in the "every day world. It was a time when "challenged" kids were shunned by society. I saw no difference between them and myself. I took them under my wing and they in turn, gave me their trust.
I was and continue to be kind to those around me and have continued to feel the sadness and fears of those around me. To give of myself has been life's greatest blessing and the rewards inside have always been more than THIS man deserved. I stood by the side of a woman that taught me more about being strong and endurance than anyone else in this world. Though I fell short of being a totally good man to her, what I did give to her was my heart and soul. We walked through this often cruel world, hand in hand, crying with her when she needed to cry, laughed when ever we could and as hard as we could. Never allowing life to hold us back, we went for the Gold and won. I was a good husband and made certain she kept her dignity and her reason for being here.
As a father, I always made time for my daughters. We laughed and played and every where Sheila and I went, the girls went with us. We taught them the power of love and the meaning of a good days work. We showed them the rewards of working hard and what it meant to be responsible. And before they graduated, I managed to leave their mother, hurting her in ways I could not have even imagined and changing their safe worlds forever for them. A wrong I will and do live with daily, for the rest of my life.
I am a published author of two Suspense Novels and have written over 100 songs. I have a CD that is available, of love songs I have written. They still wait to find the fame that I truly believe that they are worthy of. Unfinished or unrealized... either way, the same results. I look back over this, a mere fragment of what I have done in the 51 years I have been blessed with thus far. I look at where I have been and the things I have done. I Do see the good things but I also see that somewhere inside each one of the fragments of my life, I caused someone pain.
What defines a good man? Are the things he did before he messed them up strong enough to make him worthy of being called friend? Does the merit given to that person stand of its own strength or do the faults and failures out shine or cloud the good that was there? Can a Hall of Famer have that title truly stripped from his being? Or does he in fact remain that person that came through when he was most needed, that gave his best before the world became his very own private war, in some peoples eyes? IS he/she allowed to stand and smile and say "I am a good person, worthy of being called "your friend" even after he falls?
The battle, the Bipolar slowly slipping in and taking over thoughts that moments ago had a good feeling to them and so it is time to leave this blog before all things become negative again, as I know they will. Can I call myself a good man, a good Son and Father and Mate? Or have the failures and faults erased that which was once my pride? I wonder...

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Writing... a different world.

Sometimes... Life just gets really busy and we try to fit as much of it into the time we have as we can. It seems though that to accomplish as much as we can in one day, we have to set some things aside. How does one decide which things it will be that do not receive the attention they should be getting? I understand priority... but whose priority? Do we base it on personal issues or do we look at the "business" side of life and place that in the higher priority spot?
Perhaps I over think things at times. I am a writer and I DO believe that a writers world is truly NOT like anyone elses world. I wonder how you segregate the personal sometimes from the work that needs to be done in order to make ends meet? I know that bills need to be paid and that Life is going to happen no matter what we do. That is a given. But I find myself often times NOT finishing, Not accomplishing things that I know have to be done because I have a need and a want and desire to spend time with friends that are so important to me. I sit and try and figure out what is Really important in my life. I am a writer and that is my passion. I write for the enjoyment and I write because I want to share with the world all that is inside of me. I want to be a name that is spoken at some dinner table or tea shop far, far away from me. I want to see life happening in as many ways as possible.
I also value the love of my family and of my friends and not simply want but Need to give my time to them. Inside of me, I battle to try and know what it is I am to do and yet sometimes it still leaves me not knowing for sure . The need for success and the need for family is often a place I find myself at a stand still. Does one thing or at least a part of one thing have to be sacrificed for the other to happen? There was a time when the two seemed to fold together and neither was left alone. To dwell in harmony together there has to be a contentment that says it is alright if I am doing one or the other for a time.
I think that when I worked outside of the house it was easier. I knew that each day I had a job to do and it was not a choice thing of when I did it or how long I would be working. Hours were set and when the day was finished, my time was then given to my family. Working from the home can change a lot of that. There is always something to do at home outside of the writing and the pushing the novels. Sometimes it takes me away for hours and when the time comes that I can sit and do a little work here, there are family matters and family time that calls. I have often thought of renting a little studio that would be where I went to work to do my stuff but that simply is not an option.
A writers life is for certain a different life from others I think. Inspiration comes at all hours and punches no time clock. In bed, while on the road, working in the yard... all of these places are wide open to inspirations. There was a time I carried a little tape recorder and a note pad with me Every where that I went. Do you know how hard And how dangerous it is to try and write down a few words on a note pad at 70 miles per hour on the interstate? The saying "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, IF he had been watching the road, he would still be with us" takes on a life of it's own. Written a bit in fun, it truly held merit at times. I think that the truth be said, segregating family and work has got to be as much an art and act of discipline as the writing itself.
I think that perhaps I will continue doing things just as I have for some time now. My family seems content with it, I get most of my work finished and what does not get finished will simply wait for the following day. As I said before, I may in fact over think things at times but that is My mind and I don't see it changing any time soon. This is the life of not just a writer... this is the life of a bipolar writer. Is there really a difference in the two? YES!!! For me, abstract is a way of life and to have 10 projects going and none quite finished is a normal state of being for me. But when one DOES find it's way to completion, I promise you, it is spectacular.

Until Death Do We Meet and Abduction

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2010... New or Used?

Today begins a New year. 2010 arrived very much in the same way that 2009 had arrived one year ago. As I look back on the past year and reflect on where I have been and where I wanted to go, I find many places, goals, if you will, that I did not make reality. Goals that weren't missed because they were unattainable. Every single one of them was with in my reach if I had pushed a little harder... reached out further and applied myself more aggressively. Some of them were so close I could feel them being finished. Others I let sit, knowing that with a little effort, I would have made them reality. Unfinished, unrealized because of that part of me that says "what if I fail?"
I heard the statement today :Same crap, different year" and it really hit me hard. I realized that the goals I have set for myself are not "failure" goals. They are not pre-destined to collapse some-where just short of the finish line. All of the elements for success are already in place. Certainly they will not happen on their own. They will need a little help on my part and perhaps, yes, a break or two. The right eyes to see what I have created. The avenues opened up so that I can get my works through to the person that needs to see them. But each and everyone of them have all the potential to be a success. It Doesn't Have to be the "same crap." It only has to be a New Year, a different Year. That is the only thing that I have no control over.
Novels waiting to be published and free-lancing that just needs a push out the door. people and places that are there, like fruit in a tree that is ripe and needs only to be harvested. People that are dear to my soul that can help me simply by their encouraging words are still in my life. They are still as near as a screen. No miles in between, no distance running to catch them. Just a simple, caring hand reached out to say "I am Still here. I have not left. I am going No-where except forward and I would love for you to come along."
Discipline... Causing myself, Making Myself set boundaries for where I spend my time and how wisely I make use of it. Knowing that it can only get away from me If I allow it too. Again, Knowing there are always variables to everything in life but understanding that fact and having alternatives ways of still accomplishing my goals. Easily done? No, not always for me. My mind simply doesn't always work on that even of a keel. Sometimes, life takes me away for a time and I need to readjust my mind set. But that doesn't mean that I can not still do what I have set out to do. Does it? Can I truly do what I believe today, this first day of a New Year, I can accomplish? Will life and things that have plagued me for more years than I care to count slip in unseen and take away the desire and the belief I have today in myself? Will it be another "bipolar" year for me? Does it have to be? Really????
{Sighs...} I guess it all depends on myself and those that I surround myself with. On the encouragement of those that matter to me. I think that without that very important element, it could be the "same crap with just a different Year's Date."