Into the Flames part 4

Abby waved her hand and the flames suddenly were gone. Ian and Sylvia looked around the room. The furniture was as it had been before the flames. They stared at each other for a moment and then hugged each other. Ian drew away from her and rubbed his chest. His now unbuttoned shirt revealed a large red mark on his chest. Abby looked at it and then frowned.
"I am sorry, Ian. That is one thing I can not remove. Where Jeffrey touched you will remain forever, I am afraid. A touch from the other side, if you will. The pain however will eventually pass."
"You wouldn't want to explain what just happened to us would you? And while you are at it, answer my first question!"
"Ian, Jeffrey blames you for what happened to his daughters because you came to Sylvia while she was writing the novel she put away. Let me explain this first. No one truly knows what all happens when we leave this world. Some I suppose go directly to their home in the after-life and some... well, some wander for various reasons. Maybe they were bad and are trying to atone for their wrong doings. Maybe they had unfinished business that was so strong when they left that they were allowed to stay for awhile. The "air-waves" that spirits move through is mostly unknown but we do know they exist and we know that spirits have been seen walking the earth since time began."
"All of this matters to me, why?"
"Patience Ian. Let her finish, please."
Ian placed his arm around Sylvia and turned back towards Abby.
"I am known as a Seer. Some call us psychic, others call us fortune tellers... some even refer to us as prophets of the modern day. We are gifted in the way of seeing things ahead of time and a few of us can even speak to spirits after they have left this world."
"Me!!! I am one of those! I swear I have always had that ability and to feel others and their pain."
Abby looked at Sylvia. Her eyes focused on her as if she were trying to see inside of her. She took Sylvia's hand in hers.
"Dear one, you are far more than that. Much more than you ever knew or could have imagined. You are one of maybe 1000 known people that can draw spirits into this world. Summon them up and give them a type of re-birth. When you write, the characters in your novels take on life. we, a group of people, watch for these things and follow writers that do this. Your success is because of just that gift. Your readers feel the reality of your characters because, simply put, they are real. You didn't know that but we did. These people from your books seek out people like myself to try and find their way back to where ever it is you took them from."
"Dear God, I never knew. I would never have written a single book if I had known." Tears flowed from her eyes as she spoke.
"Of course you didn't know, dear. None of you ever do. Once you do discover this, most cease writing. Some use it to try and create their own little world. Those people are in "Happy Hollow Home for the Mentally Deranged." As I said, we follow leads or requests and we track down the writers. Then we try to right the wrong as best we can. IT doesn't always work and so we are left with "ghosts" that wander houses and buildings, some not so friendly and not too happy to be still here."
"Can't you send them back to where they were?"
"If our method fails, Ian, we turned them over to those gifted in exorcisms and such. At" that point, they are no longer our concern."
"And me??? Where do I fit into all of this!?!? That "ghost isn't happy and he wants to kill me!"
"Oh, I wish he did, Ian. You came along and Sylvia fell in love with you. She quit writing for a year and when she came back, Jeffrey and his daughters were placed on a shelf. How long time is for the wanderers we don't know. To him it has been 79 years because of the date you used in the novel, Sylvia. Only 5 years for us, but eternity for poor Jeffrey. That is why he is after you, Ian. You caused Sylvia to stop his life. He watches those little girls die over and over. So understand, He does NOT want to kill you... he wants you to suffer for eternity."
"Great! So now what? How do we talk Mr.Nasty-Flame into not burning a whole in my chest for an eternity!?"
"He is terribly angry and is fighting us. He won't listen to reasoning. We have to find a way to calm him long enough to fix this."
"What do I need to do, Abby? Do I rewrite the book, finish it... tell me how I make this right?"
"First off, you need to sit down and wr..."
Suddenly, the house was filled with flames again. Sylvia and Ian began screaming as if they were burning. Ian's chest burned and he fell to the ground again. Sylvia fell to the floor and held him again. With a loud roar, Jeffrey came through the door again. The anger in his face seemed even fiercer than before. He turned and pointed at Abby, who was burning this time also.
"Do not try send me away again, Abby, or you will suffer the same way as the other two! I will have my revenge and these two and HE will Rue the day he met this woman! Just try and stop me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Into the Flames... Part 3

Sylvia and Ian watched as the flames began to consume the house. She screamed as the flesh from her body ignited. She turned her hand to look at it and screamed louder as the bones were revealed. Ian stood motionless, not two feet from her. She felt a hand touch her shoulder and jumped. She turned to look into the face of Abby. Her eyebrows crinkled in question.
"Why are you not burning!?!?!! What the hell is going on here!???"
"In time dear one, in time. For now stop and realize what you are feeling. Do you feel the flames burning you?"
"Of course I..." Sylvia stopped and stared at her hands and arms. For the first time she realized that though there was almost no flesh left on her body, she felt... Nothing. There was no burning sensation, no smell of flesh burning and there was one more thing. Her head and hair did not burn at all. She looked at Ian and saw the same phenomenon was happening to him.
"Ian, look at yourself! You are burning everywhere but your face and there is no pain!"
Ian moved for the first time since the flames had begun. He looked at his hands, now little more than bone, and shook his head.
"Sylvia, what the hell is going on here!?"
Sylvia turned back to face Abby. "It is time you started talking. We need to know what is going on and we need to know NOW!"
"Yes, you do deserve to know. Listen carefully because I will not tell this story again. eighty years ago, the man you saw walking through the flames was as real as you and I. His name was Jeffrey Thomas. He lived in that house with his wife and 2 baby daughters. They were Emily and Leona and they were 5 years old. There was no electricity in the house then, only kerosene lanterns. The two girls were playing hide and seek one day. One of them hid under a bed. The other, looking for her sister took the kerosene lantern and slid it under the bed. The flames reached out of the top of the glass and set the bed afire."
"Stop! Just stop this, Abby! That is not a story from eighty years ago! That is a novel I started many years ago and abandoned it. I couldn't come up with a ending and so I just shoved it into a drawer somewhere."
Suddenly the flames grew more intense. The furniture was being reduced to ashes all through the house. She heard a door slam shut on her porch and the sound of someone walking towards the dining room where they sat. As Sylvia and Ian stared at the opening between the living room and the dining room, Jeffrey came through the open doorway. He did not look as friendly as he had when Sylvia last saw him. His face was contorted with anger. Abby stood up and positioned herself between Jeffrey and Sylvia.
"No Jeffrey, this is not the way." Abby placed her hand on his chest and the flames turned to a bright blue and yellow. Intense heat came from them and Ian and Sylvia both could feel the heat. "She had no way of knowing that this was going to happen. You must realize that now. We have to stay focused so we can save your daughters."
He pushed her hand away from his chest and now stood in front of Sylvia and Ian. "You," he said while pointing at Ian. "You are the one that caused my daughters to be burned alive! I want you to feel everything they did!" Jeffrey reached out and touched Ian's chest. The flames turned blue and yellow again. Ian screamed out in pain. For the first time since the fire had started, he felt the searing pain of the flames that licked at his body. "I want you to feel this so you know how they felt!"
Abby rushed between them and shoved Jeffrey away from Ian. Jeffrey fell to the ground and held the place that Ian had touched.
"How? Why did he feel the pain from that man!? And what the hell did Ian ever do to this man!?" She went to Ian and held him. She could see the pain in his eyes. Her tears came out but were dried up buy the flames as soon as they touched her cheek.
"Do you really not remember what he did!? I have hated you for so many years. I wanted to kill you with my bare hands! I had to wait and that waiting has forced me to watch my little girls burn every time the anniversary of their death came around. Seventy-nine years of torture that you could not even imagine!"
"I still don't understand what I had to do with their deaths!? I wasn't even alive eighty years ago!"
"Neither was I, until she created me!" Jeffrey pointed at Sylvia again, the hatred in his eyes so horribly vivid. "She created me and my wife and my daughters and then she left us to relive this nightmare for all of eternity. But she is merely a writer. YOU!!!! You caused this horror to be eternal! And I am going to make you suffer as much!"
"How!?!? I want to know How I am responsible!!!!!"

Into the Flames part 2

Sylvia only half heard Abby talking to her. She was numb from the experience she just had. Certain she had seen the fire, no doubts that she had seen the young man, she knew she had to find out what had happened. She went into her house and sat down with a cup of coffee. The smell of burnt flesh was still fresh in her nostrils. Sher sniffed at her clothing. The pungent odor was still there also. She wondered if anyone but her would smell it. As she ponder this the doorbell rang. She walked towards the door, half afraid to answer it. She opened the door slowly and more peeked out than really looked.
"Oh Ian, it is just you."
"Well that's a nice way to greet the man you are going to marry some day."
Sylvia smiled a bit at his comment. She opened the door and let him in. "I am so sorry, sweetheart." She kissed him and then led him to the kitchen table. "Ian, I need to tell you something but you have to promise not to laugh."
"Well, if you tell a joke, I may indeed laugh."
"What?"
"Nothing dear... tell me what is on your mind. And I promise you that I will not laugh."
Sylvia told him everything that had happened to her. She told of the man that had invited her into the flames. Ian listened intently and he did NOT laugh.
"Maybe you have been working to hard. Is any of this in your book? Maybe you wrote this and then dreamed it."
"Ian, I did not write this nor make it up. I am writing a "who done it" mystery right now and there are no flames in the book! You need to believe me. I am telling you wha..."
In the middle of her sentence, Ian had stood up and walked into her den. She stopped talking and watched him go directly to her computer. He stood in front of it, his eyes moving back and forth in a way that told her he was reading whatever she had on the screen.
"Darling, you need to come look at this."
Sylvia stood up and went to his side. Her eyes welled up with tears and she found herself needing to sit down.
"Are you ok sweetheart!?" Ian's question was filled with sounds of stress.
She turned and looked up at him, his baby blue eyes staring back at her through the tuft of hair that fell over his eyes. "Ian, I didn't write that! I never put those words down. It isn't even part of the story-line, for God's sake!" Her voice was beginning to crack as she fought back tears.
"Darling, if you scroll back, it is exactly the story line. A man gets trapped in a burning house. He had gone back in to rescue his wife and children. He gets trapped and doesn't want his wife to..."
"I can read, Damn-it! I know what it says!" Sylvia read the last words typed. {One day you too will walk in the flames and it wont hurt a bit.} Her tears flowed now as she laid her head on the computer desk. Ian rubbed her shoulders and kissed her hair. "It does not make any sense at all. Why would I write a story like this? My stories about two lovers trapped in relationships they can not get out of."
Suddenly, as Sylvia and Ian watched the screen, flames began to lick at her computer. They scorched the table and chairs in the room, leaving only the computer un-touched by the searing flames. Ian reached for the plug to shut it down and screamed out in pain.
"Damn, what the hell is going on here, Sylvia!? I just burned the hell out of my hand." He held his palm out for her to see. The burns were deep and she was certain he needed to see a doctor.
"Ian, I told you there was something not right going on!" As she spoke, the keys began to move on her keyboard. They watched as words formed and sentences were typed. "Only by the cleansing of fire can you be saved. Please come into the flames and save us both."
"I don't know what it wants me to do, Ian." She placed her hand to the screen. It was cold to the touch. She crinkled her nose and pressed a bit harder. Her hand passed through the screen as if it were liquid. She felt a tug from the other side on her hand. "Something is trying to pull me into the screen, Ian. I am trying to get free. Hold me tight and do not let me go inside, please!!!!"
Ian took hold of her at the waist and held her tight. He could feel the pull on her body. The keys moved up and down faster and faster as Ian read them while holding on to Sylvia as tight as her could.
{It is only by the flames she can be cured. I will have her Ian. In the end, it is the Only way. Let her go now!}
"No, I will not let her go until we know why she is being pulled into the flames! We deserve an explanation!"
Suddenly the door opened. Abby walked inside and closed the door. She walked to the computer and touched it. The flames suddenly died out and the charred remains of furniture were all that was left to show a fire had happened. She took Sylvia's hand and took her to the table.
"I know you have a lot of questions, dear... and they Will all be answered,in time. But one thing at a time, Dear."
Abby raised her hands and suddenly, the entire house was engulfed in flames.

Into the Fire!

Spring went directly into Autumn. The Summer was simply hot and Sylvia didn't do "hot." What she also did not do was work, at least not in the traditional get up, get dressed and go to work type work. Sylvia was a writer. She traveled around the world, looking for places that set the mood for her next novel. The surroundings were everything to her when she wrote. "You can't write a novel about the ocean while you are staring at the Mohave desert," she would say. Perhaps she was right. Who was to say differently.
She stepped outside of her lakeside cottage and breathed in the air. The smell of a fireplace made it's way from her nostrils to her heart. Pine filled the air and it had the feeling that the entire world was at a bonfire. Leaves were making their seasonal change of colors. The once vibrant green leaves on the sky high Maples, had in the blink of an eye, become multi-colored. Light reds and oranges accompanied by yellow and auburn were neatly spread across the leaves, some sharing their colors all on one single leaf. She had come to this little "retirement" community to write the middle of her newest, sure to be best seller. Where the next segment of her novel would take her was any ones guess. She only took her gaze away from the beauty that surrounded her when she heard her neighbor call out to her.
"Is this place beautiful or what Sylvia? I don't know why Dale and I didn't move out here years ago."
Dale was Abby's sort of husband. He did as he was told and stayed in the house most of the time. Abby was a lady of good blood. Her family had come to America during World War II, as many families from England had. They brought their riches with them and settle into America very well to do. Her father invested in American real-estate and their money never stopped growing. Abby never missed the chance to tell anyone she met that she was "extremely" well off. Dale's father had been her families accountant for 25 years. From playing house with Dale as a child to real life house, they had been together for the better part of 45 years.
"How is the book coming along, Sylvia? Need any help with it?"
Sylvia smiled kindly at Abby. "It is going well, thank you. I think I am still alright on my own for now. I do thank you for the offer though."
"Well, I am a bit of a writer myself, you know."
"Yes, so you have told me in the past. I promise to keep you in mind should I have need of an assistant."
Abby smiled at her and turned away.
Sylvia turned towards the smell of the chimney smoke and breathed it again. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the comforting fragrance as she thought about her novel. Where would it take her to next? Suddenly her nose crinkled and her eyes opened. The fresh clean smell of cherry wood and pine was now replaced with a new smell. She looked up at the smoke, now more puffing it's way out then flowing. The smokey grey color of smoke was now a darker, heavier hue. Suddenly, the unmistakable smell of burning flesh filled her nostrils. She sneezed and held her nostrils closed with two fingers. Abby apparently smelled the odor too as she turned to Sylvia with a look of panic on her face.
"Go call 911, Abby! Do it fast! I am going down to see if I can help anyone! Tell them that someone is trapped inside the house. Hurry!!!!!"
Abby went into her house and did as she was told. Sylvia ran as fast as she could to the house. When she reached the front door, she could feel the heat coming through the door. She knew not to touch the door handle but there was no other way to see if someone needed her help. As she wrapped her fingers around the doorknob she let out a cry. She pulled her hand away as quickly as she could but she knew it was already too late. Some of the skin from her fingers stayed with the brass knob, leaving her with exposed skin on four of her five fingers. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at her hand. Blackened and bleeding, she held it with her other hand. She needed to get that door open somehow. She tossed her body into the door and it opened with a loud crack! Flames licked out at her and singed her hair and eyebrows. She could hear the sirens and knew the fire department was nearly there.
Inside the house, she could see the furniture burning. The dining table suddenly collapsed as the bright orange red flames devoured the rest of the furniture, piece by piece. She saw a movement behind the flames. She rubbed her eyes and thought the smoke in her eyes was causing her eyes to play tricks on her. As she looked inside again, she was certain this time she saw something. She was looking directly at the image of a young man. Though the flames engulfed every part of the house now, the boy appeared to be untouched by them. As if he had suddenly realized he was being watched, he stopped walking and looked directly at Sylvia. He smiled at her and nodded.
"Can I help you with something?" He walked through the flames towards her. Sylvia retreated to the safety of the front lawn. "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. Soon you too will be inside the flames and you will see it isn't so bad."
Sylvia shook her head and closed her eyes.When she opened them again, she stood staring at the house. There were no flames now. There was no young man standing in the doorway, no furniture burning. There was only an abandoned house, empty of everything except a player piano. The smell of cherry wood filled her senses, now. She looked towards her House and saw Abby still standing right where she had been standing.
"Are you hearing a word I am saying, Sylvia?"
Confused, Sylvia simply stood, staring at Abby. What had just happened to her??????

Just feeling the Love...

How do you know you are loved? Is it by a word spoken to you from someone you are close with? What causes you to stop for a moment and smile a bit, perhaps even cry just a tiny bit and feel loved?
Yesterday I had a little episode. Well let me go back a week or so. I have gained weight over the winter. Weight that I don't need at 50 years old. hell, I didn't need it at 30 to be honest, but back in the day... I could shave off 20 lbs with little effort at all. Today, not so much! I decided to follow my youngest daughters lead and diet. She chose a diet I was familiar with. It is a cabbage diet and all you eat is cabbage soup for days and weeks. So determined am I too lose this weight, I went for it all. Now I am on several medications daily. The list contains pills such as Coumadine {I have had 3 Pulmonary Embolisms i.e. Blood Clots on my lungs, one that nearly took me out of this world.} I take Lisinopril for my blood pressure and omeprazole for my tummy. I also take Nuerotin for my Restless Leg Syndrome and Pottasium, and a few others. Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!
Apparently, a cabbage diet doesn't set well with so many meds, etc... I ended up in the ER last night, sure I might not survive. We had been at a gas station and went in to get a coffee.Before i was able to finish paying, I became terribly dizzy. A dizziness i had never in my life felt. I hated the feeling!!!! I was without any control and just wanted to get outside to some air. The air helped a little but not enough. My family took me to the ER and I did not fight it at all. To make this not quite so long, I was checked out and given an EKG. Blood tests were ran also.It turned out to be that I was starving myself so it left me malnutritioned. It also effected my blood sugars, my INR{a measure of how thin my blood is.} My INR was climbing and my blood thinning because of the lack of good food going into me. My Potassium was way out of whack along with a few other issues. After 4 hours of taking in liquids and all the tests I was feeling better and was sent home. I was warned this could have messed me up very badly. Worse than it had!,
I tell you all of this because many times, it is when we Need to know we are loved, when we need to feel we are worthy of someones love that we find it. I watched from my bed in ER as a man, a huge man that had been and still remains not only my Father, but also a best friend for as long as I can remember, sat crying from worry. The love shared between my Father and I may go unspoken sometimes but it is never unfelt. Looking at his face, seeing the worry and the love, I KNEW I was loved. Seeing my loved ones rally around me screamed out so much Love to me and to my heart.
My youngest sister called me today just to see how I was. I felt so very loved by that act of caring and again, I felt loved, so very much loved. Then, at 10 o'clock tonight, the phone rings. It is my niece, Becca... She called to see that I was ok and to let me know she was thinking about me. That is what this write is about. It is about the knowing in my heart just how loved I am. Her call touched me and brought teares to my eyes. The act of care and concern was exactly what I needed just when I did needed it.
Each act of love and kindness only serves to make one feel so very loved. I always say be kind to ANYONE you may meet. You never know what battle they are fighting inside. Your one act of caring could be the very thing that caused a person to decide to stay or go, smile or frown, live or not live. I guess i am just saying THANK YOU to those that have touched my heart and my soul simply by caring and loving me. Sometimes God sends us Angels and we embrace the gift that is from Our Father God In Heaven... Always, Darrel...

To be Bipolar or Not to Be??? Is that a question?

Hmmmm??? One hell of a question really.I often wonder what or whom i would have been if not for the Bipolar. Would I have done certain things if I had not been? Would I even know the difference? And truly, do people really go their entire lives and never know a moment of wishing they simply weren't here? I can not fathom a world where I would never have to get up every morning and talk myself into staying. A world where my realities and my ummmm not so realities did not clash. One question at a time please...
Who would i have been if I had not been Bipolar. And let's just think for a moment that not all of this set in later in life. I always felt different from others. I always wanted to do things that were maybe not so right in other peoples world but fit perfectly into mine. So many people wanted to "rise above" the underdog or not in status. I was extremely comfortable there and perhaps more popular. I was multi-functional if I may use that phrase. I mingled well with both sides and only a few felt I was below their worth. I was smart, nice looking and had a huge heart. Those were elements that laid a path for success. But I was also a little neurotic, somewhat unbalanced and loud and forward because I was shy and scared. What a mess huh???
I could have been a Doctor or Lawyer or anything I wanted to be. I had the mind, I had the personality. What was it I didn't have??? I had the same opportunities as anyone else. I never felt nor feel slighted. Something inside of me simply kept me from pursuing those things.I don't know if you start out Bipolar and mature in it or if you start out a little tilted and then graduate up. I only know that I always felt that I could rule a kingdom one day and was born to be a slave the next day. Never an even keel.So what would i have been if not bipolar? A different me maybe but still where I am today. Who would I have been? A more serious maybe, less sensitive and caring person. Faithful and straight. Wowwwww, I don't know that I would have liked that. Possibly less of this vast imagination that has gifted me in the way of writing. Unpublished maybe, and unrealized... I wonder???
To be or not to be Bipolar, that was the question. Though there are many facets of this disorder I would like to not experience, i.e. the Highs that tell me I can conquer the world and the Lows that take me to places no one wants to go and some don't return from. The inability to make decisions at times and the fears that someone is always trying to take me down. But!!!!! I like who i am and what I do. I love to care for many and give of myself and my heart. I love to laugh and smile and make the world smile with me. I like having fun and watching my loved ones, my family smile.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, and in pops the Bipolar I have been talking about. My mind swirls in a mini-tornado. My eyes well up with tears as my mind wanders and wonders what my family really thinks of me. No one talks about it. No one asks about it because well, I guess they like to think it perhaps doesn't exist. I don't know the reason. Maybe to some, it isn't something that is real. "All in my head??" Ummmmm, yea!!! That is a truer statement than they will ever know. Do I wish they would ask??? YES! DO I think they will? No... Ahhhhhh, my mind really kicks my butt sometimes. I wonder... What do they really think!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
To be or not to be Bipolar? Please don't try to change me... I am fine. Always, Darrel

Spring Cleaning the Heart

Sunday morning, and as i look out the window from my computer, I watch the snow falling down slowly but surely. It is April and the first day of Spring has come on gone. I wonder if sometimes Winter doesn't get the message. Or perhaps it is like life. Winter wants to remind us of it's power to sap the desire to be anywhere but right where we are right out of us. It brings with it the cold our bodies have already begun to faze out. We are seasoning ourselves for the warmer weather we have been teased with for a few weeks now. I look it with disappointment and shake my head. I just said last week to my daughter that we still had one more big one coming. I hate it when I am right!
Now my thoughts drift to another season that passed 3 years ago. I think about the promise made that new life would come back to me. I say new life because my life changed totally and suddenly the day that Sheila went to heaven. Nothing would ever be the same for me. Today, my heart is a little like the Robins I see skirting around the bare tree branches, trying to find shelter from the cold and snow. I look forward and think of the warmth that everyone says is mine to embrace. I search through the cold of emptiness that was left for me when she went away. i know that there is a Spring coming that will bring forth new life and a new path to walk. But unlike the snow, the knowing that it will melt away again, I wonder if I will ever truly know a Springtime in my soul again.
With the new season, we find our selves opening windows and "airing" out the house. Out with the old air and in with the new. We clean the windows, floors, cubbies we have stored things in through the winter. We invite in new smells and new sites as the Springtime gives forth it's array of colors. We remember from years gone by that there will be warmth and there will be sunshine galore. There will be flowers to plant and gardens to grow. And in my heart????
Will I too need to open windows from my heart? Will I need to reach into the "cubbies" of my soul and move some things around or let them go? Flowers are to me the memories of our past. They are beautiful and they reach out and warm our souls. I will plant new flowers and watch them grow? Fears well up inside me as I think about it all. Change is nearly an impossibility for me. The bipolar does it's part in making it a huge task simply to accept change. Doesn't change, isn't airing life out, letting go? Doesn't letting go translate into forgetting?
Like the winter that has returned today, my heart, ready for Spring, has filled with snow. I see the Spring that can be and want to capture it and make it mine. But, I think about the "airing out" of the house and heart. I know that habits I have will creep back into the house and each time the windows close, those same habits will fill the house until next the windows are open. The smoke from my cigarettes is likened to the memory in my heart. It's smells and it's calming of my heart will be there. But so too will be the fear that if I open the windows too far... if I clean out too much, that I will forget. My heart can not ever do that. She is my forever love and though one may come to me and be my partner until I too go to heaven, Sheila is always in my thoughts and my memory. She is still the reason I do some things the way that I do them. She is still my tears in the night and my heart in the day.
Ahhhh, the snow... it does not appear to be anywhere near stopping today. I look out at what is already 6 inches and 3 to 6 more to go. I have shoveled and clear off the sidewalk once already and yet you can not see where I cleared it. The same is my heart. I don't know that it will stop anytime soon. Like the snow,it will find sunshine and I have seen glimpses of that springtime and it is bitter/sweet. I want it and see it but I fear it just as much. Funny how a "Spring" blizzard, and that is what we are having today, can take ones mind to places that had HOPED that Spring would keep away. Do I make any sense at all here or is this simply the ramblings of a man that wants new life and new love to take root and grow strong???
Perhaps the heart is like a perennial flower that inside, buried under the cold and snow, lies life that will return every year with the warmth of Spring. Is it so bad to want to love deeply again? Am I forgetting if I go forward and leave winter behind? My heart is so heavy and my mind so full. Sometimes I just want to go away!!!!!!

Space... the ever so sought after need.

"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Star ship, Enterprise. It's 5 year mission, To explore strange new worlds,To seek out new life and new civilizations... To boldly go where no man has gone before!" William Shatner spoke these words in the opening moments of each Star Trek show and movie. He is famous for those few words spoken with such command. The words pop into my little Bipolar head more than I care to admit.But I take them and put my own twist on them as many have done before me. They have meaning for me that is not so unlike the words meant for "outer-space." Space. The distance from other people or things that a person needs in order to remain comfortable. Perfectly describe.
This is the space I write about today. I hear Shatners words and think "wow, if you only knew." {{Space, the ever so sought after need. These are the journeys of Darrel Day. His life long ambition: To explore strange New worlds, because his is sometimes to frightening. To seek out new lives that he can talk to, help, reach out to and care for. New civilizations: Worlds new to me that fulfill a desire to know something about everything. "Boldly" going where no man... well at least {few} men or women have gone before." That "space" being the "The distance from other people or things that a person needs in order to remain comfortable."
It is a place I so desperately need. Not just Desire but truly need. Like Captain James T. Kirk, to see a world of vast emptiness to run around like a kid in. To not have sounds and confrontations or people questioning some of your actions. It is an aching need that my body and soul feel and it has a knowing with it. A knowing that I will re-act to the feeling of "closed in" if I do not soon find that "Space." There isn't really a need to be bipolar to feel this but if you take how you feel when you need that "space" then quadrupole it, you may indeed find the place that I am and have been for some time now. The bipolar brain feels crowded even in an empty room sometimes. I am sure many of you reading this Can relate to these words. Just as we can feel very Alone in that same room, wall to wall with people.
The desire to go away and hibernate for a while is so strong at times. The knowledge, whether it is just in my head or reality, that the only way to avoid hurting someone I love so deeply, is to keep clear of them. For someone to come into direct contact with me, is opening them selves up for hurt. Some-where inside, I know this isn't true but my head says differently. And truly, that is all that matters because I Believe! Space away from anyone that knows me and can judge or comment on concern of where I am mentally or otherwise. To talk with people about anything and do so without them thinking in their heads "I know you and I know the things you do. Why would I take advice from someone that can not even keep his own life in check."
"Space." It IS the final frontier. A place where someone can escape the world they live in and step into a "New" world! A world that is filled with new life and new civilizations. Boldly going there because there is no "Baggage" waiting to be picked up or checked in. A billion miles of emptiness, waiting to be filled with memories, love, care-giving and silence. A silence so deep you can Feel it. This Space, so sought after, is very often nearly impossible to find..................

Getting over Versus Moving on...

Getting over versus Moving on? Are they the same? I have pondered this for some time now. Today, 3 years and 17 days after Sheila went to heaven, I still find myself going to a secret place and crying for her. I still see things that personified her and my heart aches. I look around and see how life has gone on for me. Not in a bad way either. I am surrounded by those that love me and care for me. Family has been supportive to the points they felt they could be. I am not alone and enjoy life as much as my body will allow me too.
The question beats at My head and heart and it asks me... have I gotten over her death or have I simply moved on? Everyone has ways of mourning and ways of saying "see you later in heaven" to their loved one that has gone on before them. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to deal as long as it is respectful. I do not believe that there is a time limit, a determined length of time mourning when suddenly someone says "hey, your time is up and now you are bordering on the not so normal." I do know there are people who DO believe there is a time frame. A point when you now need to "seek counseling." I think about that too, just like others.
After over 3 years, is it normal for a spouse to still cry in the night for his lost love? Have they crossed some imaginary line now and need to be done with mourning? Have they been given enough time to sort out the "God, I should have said...", "Oh I wish I would have done ...", "God, did she know how much I truly did love her?" Should a man still shudder inside at the thought of some of her things NOT being on the walls or on cabinet shelves? So many questions and really, no answers.
But then I look at myself and see my heart opened up and accepting love from someone other than her. I feel my heart loving and giving of myself and I wonder what it means. And it scares me. Am I moving on or am I getting over her? To move on I think is a journey in life we must do. If not, we will simply shrivel up and die, if not physically, mentally and emotionally for certain. But have we truly "moved on" if we are not "over" the loss? Would we still cry our hearts out at the memory of our loved one if we have gone forward?
Yesterday, a meadowlark flew directly in front of my vehicle. The meadowlark was her favorite bird and it's cry as I drove down the road would always make me say aloud, "Hi baby." I saw the bird, heard it's cry and then, I cried. I said to myself "Why did you go away? Did I do something to make you feel it was o.k. to go when you did? Did I love you enough, tell you enough, SHOW you with all that I was that I still was so very In Love with you?"
Those that feel I was no longer In Love with her because i had lost my way and broke down, I guess that is for them to sort out. I would go further insane if i tried any longer to convince those that do not believe that my Love for her never diminished. SO I will no longer try. Words that echo in my mind, actions that spoke louder than any words validate my love for her. Hearing her say to me each day, "hey good lookin'" or the kiss we shared each night before bed and each morning as we woke speaks volume to my ears and my heart. When I close my eyes, I still feel the warmth of her tiny hands on my face. When I am walking alone, I still hear her laughter and remember what a beautiful love we shared. A love rare and enchanting, though not always a fairytale.
Getting over or moving on??? I think that to get over is the same as "forgetting." To move on, you can bring with you some of the yester-years and gently fold them into your today's and tomorrows. Mix them tenderly so that they meld in like melting chocolate, smooth and delicious. Your life with that beautiful someone that has left you with a legacy of memories and the smiles and trials and new memories you will add every day for the rest of your life. That is I think how it was meant to be. That is how I believe life "moves on." A love that had no beginning because it simply always was and the love that has no ending, not until you are one again in Heaven.
I wonder what the world thinks of me. I ponder these things and look for answers...
Always I am .......... Darrel

Time: Our Friend and Foe...

Time. An element that sometimes appears to be longer than life. It also seems to be shorter than we want it to be. It depends on the circumstances and how much time we need. Seems to be short when we need it to last and of course longer than you could ever imagine when you want it to pass quickly. It can be applied to pretty much any part of our lives. I think back to Sheila and how I wanted time to Stand still so I could have one more hour, one more day with her. When she went to heaven, time DID stop for me. I wanted the clock to keep moving, hoping that time itself would heal my heart... take away my sorrow. The shortest time in my life was her last hour. The longest time in my life was also her last hour.
Time: the longest time is waiting to see your therapist. The shortest time is AFTER your time starts. Time:Short is a visit from your daughter who lives 14 hours away. Long is waiting for next year so you can see her again. As I said, time and the speed in which it moves can be applied nearly every-where in our lives.
But for me right now, and the reason I guess I am writing here tonight, is the time between a high and a low. The length of time one lasts versus the other. Being bipolar, time is sometimes measured in seconds. I don't know if it can be broken down any further than that here. My mind thinks of the stop-watch that is shown when down-hill skiers are racing or swimmers are trying to slice a milli-second off of their time. My mind often runs at speeds that seem that fast. Each click of the numbers, a new thought crowding it's way in or an old thought trying desperately to escape from the crowd in my head. There is the fantastic High that is so euphoric and makes me feel like I can finally save the world, save every soul that ever needed a friend or a kind word. The High that I assure you will only last a short time. Filling in it's spot will be the Low that lasts for days or weeks or... seconds.
Time: seconds/~~~ Smiling and laughing as I go to the kitchen for a drink. Returning less than a minute later and feeling as though everything, everyone in my life was going to crumble before me. Barely having time to shake my head, the feeling of dread is gone and being replaced by a feeling everything will be alright. But be certain, the Low WILL come back and perhaps this time, it will settle in for a "while". Time is a friend and foe. We need both ends of it, the long and the short and if they fall right and balance each other then we can be o.k., if only for a little while.
One more time that is so a part of our lives and Yes, Our attitude. The Day and night. Long time: the space between starting work and getting off. Short time: The space between setting the alarm and having to get up and shut it off.
Short time: The Sunshine in the summer. Don't you wish it was light until Midnight? Long time: The Winter time between 4 p.m. and 7 a.m. when the Sun is sleeping.
Yea, time is our friend and foe. Use it wisely. It ends so quickly... Trust me on this one. Darrel

Honesty... can we justify it?

Can you hear your Mother? Do the words of your teacher and preacher and even your best friend echo in your brain? They are all saying the same thing. And You!? You believe it and honor those words because well, simply because. What words, you say? "Honesty is the best policy!" Hmmmmmmmm? Is it really? I wonder?
Aren't there truly times when perhaps less Honesty is a good thing? "Does this dress make me look fat???" What, are you kidding!???? Go ahead men, answer that one. Tell her that there is just a tiny, the tinsiest little belly bump that shows in that dress. Say to her "honey, I just think something less tight might look better." Uh huh, you will find out just exactly how much Honesty is NOT always the best policy. Your night, hell, the rest of your life would be better if you just had said, "You look fabulous" and called it good.
My thoughts are a bit abstract today. Blame it on Bipolar, on spring is here or just blame it on my being awake. At any rate, these are my thoughts today. If you are close with someone, here or off-line and you are talking and there are things you want to say to them because you love them, do you? If they ask a question and you know that any answer you give to them will hurt them, do you answer the question with your heart or do you simply say enough to stay with the conversation? What is the real answer? How much is too much honesty?
We allow ourselves justification for other dishonesty's. We tell our children to go to bed early on Christmas Eve. If they don't then Santa won't come to their house.Wer tell them about an Easter Bunny that doesn't exist. We find ways to say it isn't really lieing but it is. And so, is it alright to be a little... "less than honest" with other things in life?
Concerning the heart... Do you tell someone you love that they look nice or are beautiful for the sake of feelings or do you speak honestly? Perhaps better to not speak at all. I am so serious here this morning. What makes a lie ok to tell? And is my little lie really smaller, less significant, less likely to land me in Hell than someone elses based on it's content? I think there must always be honesty in a relationship. Sharing thoughts or being 100% open leaves nothing to question but...it also leaves one vulnerable. Telling someone that you will answer them honestly is good only to the point of where it will hurt someones feelings. I guess then it leaves me with this question. Would you become an open book, even at the risk of losing someones love??????

Saturday Mornings Blahs????

Saturday morning. A day when most humans try their best to stay in bed just a little longer than the Monday through Friday up at 5 a.m. drill. For most, this is a good thing. Then you have those of us that are dedicated insomniacs. Now try as I might, I have not ever been able to talk my body into making a change on the weekend for me. I have been equally unsuccessful in training it to sleep in on Saturday mornings. It is 5a.m. or earlier when this body wakes and refuses to allow me to close my eyes again.
A snooze button for me is a worthless addition to the alarm clock, though the alarm itself is almost as useless when one is already up before it goes off. My personal favorite is 4:38 a.m. That one robs you of 21 minutes of sleep while assuring that you do NOT have enough time to jump up,race down 17 steps without breaking your neck, pee, run back up 17 stairs and slide into bed before the music you have set to Blare as loudly as it can, goes off. But through it all, though my days all seem to run together, I am alright Monday through Friday with it all. People are up and milling about, stopping to say hello to you as you sit with your Social sites open. There is the exchange of what will you do today and geez it is sooo freaking cold here this morning. Coffee and 9 cigarettes to get you rolling and away you go. they go off to work and you settle into your little corner to do some serious writing.
But Saturday...that is like waking up in another Solar System. More I think like a scene out of "the last man on earth" movies. You open your "Social" sites and well, they are silent. You re-open them a time or two because there MUST be something wrong and no one is seeing you. You make sure you have clicked off the "invisible" modes and then... Yep, then you glance at the Calendar. Uh huh, it's Saturday. Now it all makes sense to you.Now you know that the Earth has not stop turning and that all communication lines have not been severed by some unseen enemy. It's just Saturday. The day your body chooses most often to wake at 3:38 instead. A full hour ahead of the normal. You don't even have to run down the stairs to go to the bathroom. You can walk down, stop and look at your fish in the aquarium, walk back up, counting the steps and sit down, knowing all the while that you did not miss any incoming IM's.
When i read this back, I am sure I will smile as I think you will while reading it. But on the sad side, the reality side, I do not laugh inside. I have too much time to think on Saturdays to laugh this early. Time to think about why I sit here right now and write this blog. Too much time to remember that the sleeplessness and the bipolar and the manic moments are all part of the reason I sit here and type. Time to reflect on things gone by, thoughts unsettled and tears uncried. Moments free to think of all I have done wrong in my life, what I have not yet achieved, what I will probably not ever finish and to cry silently at those I miss with all my heart and wonder whom I have hurt in some way. Hurt that has not been told to me yet, but my mind is convinced they will soon.
Saturday... just another day. The beginning of the weekend for most, unless they started Friday night. But for me, it is a day of starting out slow. A time for finding anxieties early in the morning, before most peoples day has even begun. And maybe, just maybe, it is a little lonely. Do I have other places to be, people to see and outdoorsy things to do? Yes! can I do them in -11 degrees and darkness? Probably not. So here is to all you "got to sleep in on Saturday" people. Enjoy and sleep in as late as you can. All is well here. I have your back. ;) smilesssss Always, I am ... Just Darrel

When White meets Black... Chapter 7

Jess used everything she had within her and tried to stand back up. Ryan's body was strong but she was taking so much from him to keep Joshua subdued.
"I will not let you Die, Ryan. I can not do that! Just hold on for a little longer and I will give you your body back.'
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Mark kicked the door as hard as he could. It was not budging for him. He found an axe and brought it to the door. He began hacking at it as fast as he could. There was light coming out through the splintered door that made Mark chop away at the door with the ferocity of a mad-man. He could see inside the room now. Mark reached through the hole he had made and unlocked the door. He opened the door and stood there in awe at what he saw. On a pull-out bed was the body of Joshua. His body laid motionless and appeared asleep or dead. Mark walked over to the body. He heard a sound behind him. He turned to See what the noise was and he looked directly into the eyes of all the women that had been caged. Their faces were fixed with anger and hatred but the fear was gone. Mark tried to hold them back but they were to much for him. He watched as the one that seemed to be leading the group stepped forward. She pulled a knife out of her shirt and touched the blade to Joshua's body.
"This is for all the women and children that this monster, this freak has hurt, raped or sold, all for his own pleasures and gains!
Mark tried to reach for the knife and was met by a wall of women and a sharp blade held to his neck. The leader glared at Mark. "If you try to stop us or help this man in anyway, I Will Kill you!! We have earned the right to do this! Now step back or join him!
Mark moved away, unable to do anything more than watch.
"Do it Angelica... cut that worthless creature!" came a shout from the crowd. "Hurt him like he hurt us and so many others!"
Angelica sliced across his belly and then watched the blood begin to run down his side. She turned and handed the knife to the next girl in line.
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Back at the car, Jess watched as Joshua suddenly screamed out. He grabbed his side and then his stomach. Jess watched as Joshua pulled at an unseeable something near where his heart was. He writhed across the ground and he seemed to be fighting an invisible foe.
"What is happening to him Jess!?!
"Mark must have found Joshua's body. I can only guess that he is torturing him right now. There is little we can do for him now except sit and watch to see what happens."
Joshua tried to rip at his legs and arms but nothing he did stopped the terrible pain that was being inflicted on him. "Your brother will pay for this with his miserable life. I am going back to my body and kill him before I come back and finish this little battle of ours!"
"Oh no you are not! You are not going any-where!" Jess raced over to Joshua's image and wrapped her arms him tightly. "As long as someone or something is touching you, you can not return to your body. I am not letting go of you until this is finished!"
Joshua tried to pull away but he was too weak. "So this is how it ends, is it!? I really thought I would go out with more of a bang. You enjoy your life, Jess. And for what it means to you, I did love you. I really did."
Jess watched as red became the main color of Joshua's image. It faded faster and faster until he was no longer visible.
"That is the end of him, Ryan. I will give you your body back now. Thank you for the use of it." Jess's projection materialized in front of Ryan."Come and get me now, love. I will be waiting for you outside the warehouse."
"I am on my way to you now!"
Ryan drove to the warehouse where Jess's body had been. He saw her standing outside, waiting for him as she said she would be. He stopped the car and flung the door open and ran to her. Ryan cupped her chin in his palm, his fingers gently caressing her skin. He looked deep into her green eyes and brushed the hair away from her face. Leaning forward, Ryan tenderly kissed Jess. She returned the kiss with passion as she pulled Ryan tighter against her. Her hand went around the back of his head and she kissed him deep.
"What took you so long, Love?" She smiled as he shook his head.
"I had some car trouble. It kept freezing up on me."
They both laughed and then went to the warehouse next to them. Inside they found Mark sitting silently on the floor beside Joshua's lifeless body. He looked up at them with an empty stare.
"I could not stop them, but maybe I didn't want to." Tears ran down his face as he stood to greet his sister."
"I am glad you did not, Mark. It was really what saved our lives." Ryan put a hand out to help Mark stand. He looked to his left and saw no less than 30 ladies, blood on everyone of them, standing, waiting to go home.
The sirens were now a block away. They all went outside to meet them. There would be a lot of questions asked, some that would be fabricated, for to tell the truth would only add more questions. It didn't seem needed to any of them...


.

When White meets Black... Chapter 6

Ryan pulled himself from the ground. He looked around for Mark and found him trying to sneak up on Joshua. As soon as Ryan's eyes fixed on Mark, Joshua turned to look behind himself. The anger in his eyes was so evident as he lashed out and grabbed Mark by his hair.
"What did you think you were going to do? You are a waste as a Projector and worse as a human.I don't have time for you!!" Joshua tossed Mark over the car and then returned to Jess. "What a shame to waste such a beautiful creature. I would have found a way to keep you alive if you hadn't gone all perfect on me! now, you will simply be a nothing to me. Once I weaken your soul here, then I will kill you quickly."
Ryan slipped behind the car where Mark had landed. He grabbed him and pulled him closer to the car, where Joshua would not see them.
"Mark, listen to me. We have to be very close to the Corn Mill. You need to find it and get those girls out of there. I will handle Joshua for now. Once they are free, hide them. Then come back to me as quick as you can. I think i understand what Jess meant about networking."
"What if you can't handle Joshua?"
"Just go and get those girls to safety. Hurry."
Mark waited until he felt he was out of Joshua's site and then ran. He went from warehouse to warehouse searching for the Mill. He wanted to project but knew that he would then be visible to Joshua. He made it past nearly all of the warehouses and finally saw the Mill. He slipped inside and found the girls, all quiet and frightened. When they saw Mark, they pressed themselves against each other and moved to the back of the cages.
"No, I am not here to hurt you, Ladies. I am a friend that is here to save you. Where does Joshua keep the keys?"
One of the girls slowly moved forward. She pointed towards a door across the room. Mark raced over to it and tried to open the door. It was locked.
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Ryan crawled around the car until he was almost at Joshua's feet. As he began to stand, Joshua turned towards him.
"Where is that little termite that was with you!? Did I kill him with one toss?"
"You aren't that good Joshua! The best you can do is kill a woman that was nearly dead anyways? I guess maybe without her you are going to be just you! Maybe I will just wait a moment and then Kill you myself."
Joshua released his hold on Jess. Her projection fell to the ground, limp. Ryan didn't dare take his eyes off of Joshua. He knew he was still very strong. He heard a voice in his mind. He could hear the faint voice of Jess calling to him. Joshua stood still as Ryan tried to hear Jess.
"He is regaining strength Ryan. He won't need to rest long to be at full power again. Listen quickly. You have projected before. You can do it again. Fall to the ground and let yourself go. I will enter your body and together we can defeat him. He won't ever be expecting this. Do it now or we will both die."
"I was going to use Mark, Jess!"
"NO time to wait! Do it now!"
Ryan threw himself to the ground. Confusion became Joshua's look. He watched as Jess moved to Ryan's body. Suddenly Ryan realized he was "floating" above his body. He watched as his body stood up again. It wasn't until that moment that he realized what Jess was doing.
"I couldn't do this with you inside Ryan. It was too risky for your mind. I will leave as soon as I am finished." She turned towards Joshua. "You should have killed me when you could have! The girls are free and hiding now. They are safe."
Joshua began to look around him as she spoke. Fear now took over his face. "Ah, ah Joshua, don't look around. You are weak enough. You need to look at me!"
She spoke to Mark as he was far enough away that Joshua could not hear them. "Across the hall is another room. Kick the door in and you will find what we need to destroy Joshua. You kicked the other door in to free the girls. Do it again! Do it now Mark!"
Suddenly Joshua shoved Ryan's body to the ground. He caused rocks and branches to strike it over and over, though Jess was able to deflect some of them away. She reached out with Ryan's body and sent Astral electricity into Joshua. He winced and screamed out as each one hit him. Jess could feel him fighting back. She saw Ryan's projection fading and knew her time was short. She didn't know if she could defeat him before losing Ryan.
"It is o.k. Jess... just kill him! Don't worry about me! I got to feel your love and that is enough for me."
Joshua could feel Jess weakening, He had only to wait a little longer and then, he would have them all. Ryan's body went down on one knee. Jess began to cry. "Hurry Mark!" she cried out. "We have no more time.............."

When White meets Black... Chapter 5

The invasion of Ryan's mind left him weak. He slowly sat forward and looked back at Mark.
"You look as if you are fading. What is wrong?"
"This is taking it's toll on me too. I really need to refresh but there is no time."
"Are you going to be able to function when the time comes?"
"Swing down the next road. Our house is two blocks over. I can slip back into my body and we can go find the girls and free them."
Mark, you have not told me yet what Jess passed on to you. It may be very important for me to have the information."
"I don't know how it is going to help us at all, Ryan. You have heard of how people "Network" computers together to gain strength, amongst other reasons?"
"Yes, of course I have. What has that got to do with Jess or beating Joshua?"
"Joshua uses the same system to be two places at once. It is still believed to be just a theory by most but it is apparently reality from what you and I experienced from Joshua. The problem is that it can only work through someone that has astral projected themselves. He is using Jess to be in two places at one time. It doesn't help us at all so there is no reason pursuing it."
"That might not be totally true Mark. The other question is why can't he come into the car to kill us."
"That one was easy. It seems that the metal in the vehicle messes with his projecting. He could enter as I have done but he would have to release his hold on Jess and then his strength would be greatly reduced. Hew would also have to rest like she and I need to. With Jess tagged along, he can draw from her."
"That explains why she was so weak. He has been sucking the life out of her."
"Exactly! And when she returned to her body, he gained even more strength. If we face him outside of this car and he has Jess tagged on, he will easily kill us, Ryan. There is my house. Let me go in and re-enter myself and then we can get this done."
"I will wait outside in the car." Ryan watched Mark go into his house. He turned the radio on to relax a little. As the music played, he began to drift to sleep. Suddenly he heard what he thought was a voice in his head. The soft sound of Jess's voice made him realize it was not in his head. Her voice was coming through the radio.
"I can not be here long, love. By using your radio, anyone listening to this station will here me. I can use no names so please listen to me. You didn't tell mark you have projected before."
"It was a disaster and I nearly died."
"It doesn't matter, Ryan. You did it and so Mark can use you to increase his strength should you need to do that."
"Jess, how? How are we so connected? Why do I feel as if I have known you all of my life?"
"You have been part of me since you were a little boy. I am Jennifer Longfield, Ryan. I had to change my name to what I am called now to save my life. I stumbled onto some bad men years ago that wanted me dead."
"Jennifer... Jenny L., from high school. I was so in love with you and then just before our senior year was over, you disappeared. I asked about you for years and nobody knew anything about you. My heart was totally broken, Jenn."
"I will make up for lost time, but right now, you need to save those girls! Ohhhhh, Oh God, Ryan."
Her screams of pain sent chills down Ryan's neck. The radio was filled with static but he could hear her screaming somewhere in the background. Michael McDonald sang when a man loves a woman amidst Jess's terrifying screams.
"Jessica!!!!! What is happening, baby!? Talk to me! IS he hurting you!??"
Another scream rang out , this one outside the car. It was coming from inside Mark's house. Just as Ryan was opening the car door, like stereo he heard Jess and Mark call out to him. "Don't open the door! Stay where you are!?"
Jess's voice was the strongest and could be heard clearly now. A window shattered and Ryan saw Marks body come crashing through the window. It landed on the hood of Ryan's car.Mark turned and grabbed hold of the sides of the hood. "Go, I am fine... just get us out of here!"
Ryan pressed his foot to the floor. The tires squealed and Mark pulled his way into the passenger side of the car.
"What the hell happened in there!!??"
"Joshua happened in there, that's what happened! He was waiting for me when I went inside. He was trying to kill me but I re-entered to quickly. I moved just as he was going to kill me. We have to get to the girls and Jess now, Fast! He knows we are here and so he will try and get rid of the girls."
"Hurry please, before he kills the girls and me. Dallas warehouse, Florentine street! Pleaseeeeeeee...I love you Ryan, always!"
That was the last time Jess's voice was heard on the radio.
"She was trying to tell the police where she is. She knows they can hear her! We are almost to Florentine street, Mark. When we get there, we split up and find them. there is no time to waste now!"
As the turned the corner on Florentine, the car began to shake. The windows frosted over and Ryan could feel his fingers freezing on the steering wheel. The ice quickly covered everything and suddenly, the car came to an abrupt Stop! Ryan saw the telephone pole as it fell into the windshield, shattering glass everywhere. Part of the pole landed on Marks shoulder. He cried out in agony as the bone on his shoulder broke through the skin.
"I can heal later. Lets' get out and find them!"
Police sirens could be heard drawing nearer to them. As Ryan and Mark left the car, Ryan was tossed against the broken pole. His back hit the pole with the force of a hurricane. He crumpled to the ground. As he tried to move he saw Joshua approach him.
"Now, I am going to fulfill a promise to you and kill you. You should have left her standing by the road! Now, you just need to relax and die!"
Joshua made himself nearly completely solid. He grabbed a huge stone and lifted it above his head. "Say goodbye, Ryan!"
"I don't think so, Joshua." Ryan watched Joshua tumble backwards as the projection of the woman he loved flashed before him. "It is you that is saying goodbye! I managed to keep a little more of my strength for myself."
The rock fell to the ground. Joshua turned and grabbed Jess by her throat and began to squeeze. "You little fool! Did you really think you could defeat me?!?" His strength even took Jess by surprise. He squeezed and squeezed and as Ryan struggled to stand, he watched Jess's projection fading to almost zero. His tears flowed as he screamed out her name. Her face was saddened and scared...
"NOooooooooooo Jessica, don't you dare leave me now!!!!"